Signs of love bombing and why you should run!!

Helu zeSties! 🍋

Hopee you guys are doing well. 💕

I'm back with another post on relationships~

Been reflecting on my own experiences~

Sooo for context I was dating a guy where I realised some love bombing signs but... I stayed around to find out what true love bombing was like even though I noticed the signs hahahah... cus I was curious, I never met one before but here's what I have learnt! I always wanted to give people the benefit of the the doubt 🥹

📝Ex in qns is this dood from dating report 9 (when I reread it i wanted to puke)

📝 Breakup post + what happened here

I will be writing the post based on my experiences with him, so read those before continuing for some context or don't its fine too. ⬇️⬇️

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🚩 Signs of love bombing 🚩

1. Instant intensity

• Pretending like no one understood him this way before, selling that the connection is "special"

• But when I looked back he never truly understood me and he was just saying he liked me without getting to know me.

• tbh 60% of the time he was truama dumping on me and me being overly emphathetic fell for it, plus he was good looking so... you would think goodlooking people wouldnt be insecure but no

• Rushing into a relationship

2. Over the top flattery

• Constant flattery

• For my ex he would compliment me then put down other girls

• Its a red flag!! I asked chatgpt why: if a guy puts down a really pretty girl its usually because they think they can't get her so they reject her first. - aka insecurity

3. Showering with Gifts

•ukuk, i didnt get this eh cus he broke, he treat me food ah. me stupid (*evil plan thought* if u spot a love bomber get the gifts and run away first 😈)

4. Fast commitment no depth

• They don't truly know you and you guys haven't had a deep conversation where you connected yet.

5.  Constant contact at the start

• Lots of texting and wanting to be near you or meet up all the time.

• isolating you from your friends

6. Lack of consistency after they think they got you.

All the problems starts coming out! Fights, making you feel like you are being too much. Saying YOU have changed when they are the one that changed, asking for more space from you and making you feel like trash.

I think this is the most telling thing! Consistency.

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🚩 Why they love bomb 🚩

1. Control disguised as romance

2. They are deeply insecure

3. Unhealed truama and abandonment wounds

4. Lack of emotional regulation

*avoidant* cough

Type of attachment styles < Read more here

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🚩 The aftermath of love bombing and why it sucks 🚩

1. False sense of security

You feel like you’ve found “the one” overnight… only to realize they barely know you. That rapid attachment tricks your nervous system into bonding too fast—like emotional fast food: satisfying at first, sickening later.

They are usually selling you a fantasy, observe their actions for at least 3 months before determining if thats your person or not.

2. Its manipulation and it affects your self trust

It affected me alot and I couldn't trust myself for awhile.. because I did so much work on myself right, and building my own confidence, just for someone manipulative to get into my heart and break all that down again. It sucks.

You know he used me having this account against me lol like "where is your self love, why are you still with me when i cant cope with my emotions" *manipulation at its finest, or maybe he's actually being legit and since he knew he was hurting me why tf was he still doing it lol.

3. It lowers your defences and makes you forget your boundaries because you start "falling" for them and lowering your guard, causing you to slowly forget your boundaries

4. It sets up power imbalances

They give you the moon, and now they expect the universe back. Once they get you hooked, they start controlling you—emotionally, mentally, or physically - using guilt or fear of losing their "love".

5. It often leads to withdrawal and devaluation- aka their true selves comes out leaving you confuse and hoping for the the potential of it going back to how it was at the start, then you keep staying even when they are disrespectful and shit.

6. Truama bonding

The high highs and low lows creates an endless cycle and you may get addicted to any form of small affection they give you after a fight. You don't deserve that, wake up!! You deserve safe, consistent, transparent love, even when you did something wrong, even when you are not perfect. You deserved to be loved.

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He never fully understood or saw me for who I am. I'm glad it was only 3 months though, but the damage has been done.

Always be real, be intense and stand up for your own boundaries and emotional needs.

Dusty crusty people would never be able to withstand what you need when you are being real and true to yourself, they will end up leaving because you are "too difficult" but be difficult!! It helps you in dodging a lifetime of sadness and pain.

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☕️🍵🫖 Xtra tea for my followers that followed my story closely! ✨️💭

He found a new girl to skam, when he broke up with me in feb because he was *emotionally unavailable rn*.

Ps. I talked to this girl when we were still tgt, she visited his shop everyweek in the past, but i nvr told her how bad things were, she was nice tho 😵‍💫 (Would you guys warn her? hmm)

He still owes me money =-= I paid for an apple watch he wanted on vday because his grabpay had not enough loll, end up nvr pay much attention on the date, and he was just playing with the watch then got angry at me lololol.

Bought myself a lesson i guess to not be "too nice" anymore 🙃 He's a literal 5yo kid emotionally eh 🫠 i feel gross dating a man child.

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Thank u for reading till here! 🤓😁✨️

and don't make the mistakes I did my girlies, open your eyes big big and go with your gut feelings, don't wait and see like me, your actual husband is waiting for you out there and waiting to spoil you!!! You deserve to be seen, appreciated and be with someone that is actually happy being around you instead of always treating you like trash.

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#GirlTalk #Adulting101 #Relationship101 #lovebomb #psychology