Read this👇

i used to think i just felt things more deeply than other people. like my emotions were bigger, longer, harder to shake. i'd be upset about something for hours — sometimes days — and i genuinely didn't understand why i couldn't just let it go.

i tried journaling it out before bed. writing pages about how i felt, what triggered it, what i should do differently. it helped me feel heard for about 20 minutes. i tried going for walks to clear my head. same thing — i'd come back and the feeling was right there waiting.

the exercises worked when i was already calm. never when i was actually in it. so i started googling things like "how to stop spiraling in relationships" and "how to stop overthinking small things" — and nothing gave me a real answer.

just more lists of things to try. then i found the 90-second theory. neuroscientists discovered that an emotion only lasts 90 seconds chemically in your body. after that — if you're still feeling it — you're the one choosing to keep it alive. that broke something open in me. because i realized i wasn't someone who felt more deeply.

i was someone who kept feeding the feeling past its natural end. i started learning about what actually happens in the nervous system during those 90 seconds. and i realized the problem wasn't the emotion — it was what i was doing during that window. if i was spiraling — deep breathing actually made it worse, it kept me in my head.

if i was angry — journaling just gave the anger more material. if i was sad and needy — doing nothing let me sit in it and grow it. what i needed was something that could work with my nervous system during that window, not around it.

i found the Groundly app and it was the first thing that actually made sense to me. i don't have to figure out what i need — it meets me where i am and does the work. one reset and the 90 seconds actually ends instead of looping. i recommend it to anyone who asks me how i stopped the spiral. the feeling still comes. i just don't keep it alive anymore.

#selfhelp #psychology #anxiety #mentalhealth #anxiousattachment