We who are mentally ill are just having difficulty living, not crazy.
The first post of the new year,
A long time ago, I read a poem that I applied for a poetry award.
When I was a mentally ill student (around 18 years old), when I panicked at home due to the symptoms of panic disorder, everyone in my family told me that I was crazy or said negative words,
There was a time when I cried on my knees alone for hours because they didn't understand even if I explained it to them.
I started writing poetry from the age of 24, and when I was about 27 years old, I wrote it while remembering the painful memories of the past when I was 18 years old.
Unfortunately, Uta made it to the third preliminary round, but failed in the final selection,,
However, it's not that it's a bad poem or a bad poem because it fell,
Since the evaluation of the judges is not everything,
The straight attitude put into this poem,
It's the same thought that I put into any poem, and I'm producing it with all my heart,
Even now, this work is my treasure.
Even if it does not reach the hearts of the judges, there may be people who sympathize with this poem and be saved among the people who listen.
That's why I read this book carefully and with all my heart.
Many painful things are born in everyday life, but if you drink it, you will be dominated by sadness.
Nevertheless, what are we, who live hard, thinking and feeling now?
What I put into the poem is to the countless us who tremble in the past and walk each way.
Surely, any life, in the binding of human beings, is engrossed in selflessness, living in conflict every day,
In their hearts, surely, the Hana of life is blooming, looking at themselves and shaking.
While suffering from mental illness and inspiring today's day, we (we) who live hard,
Even if it looks very funny from around...
Whether we are mentally ill or able-bodied, we are all the same.
I want to protect the thoughts of someone important, the value and dignity of oneself, I will weave troubles and experiences.
We are fighting every day.
With the world and with yourself.
Own Poetry # reading Mental illness Panic disorder The difficulty of living
詩作りは、私にとって心の整理と自己表現の大切な手段となっています。詩を書くことで、言葉にしづらい感情や辛さを形にでき、自分自身と向き合う時間を持てるのです。 精神疾患を抱える人は、まわりの理解を得られず孤独を感じることが多いと思います。私も、家族から否定的な言葉を受けた経験がありますが、それでも詩を作り続けることで自分の気持ちを表現でき、少しずつ自分を受け入れることができました。 詩をつくる過程では、過去の痛みや自分の葛藤を見つめ直し、そこから生まれる言葉が誰かの心にも届くことを願っています。特に「枯れない花を心に咲かそう」というイメージは、苦しい中でも価値ある命が根を張り、美しく花開く希望の象徴です。 詩には正解や評価だけでは測れない力があります。自分の心に素直に向き合い、日々の闘いの中で感じたことや思いを言葉にすることは、自分自身の癒しとなるだけでなく、同じような悩みを抱える人たちの支えにもなります。 私もまだまだ未熟ですが、詩を通じて自分の過去や現状を表現し、「生きづらさを抱えながらも決して狂ってはいない」というメッセージを伝え続けたいと 思います。詩作りは、自己理解と癒しの力強い味方であり、誰でも始められる表現方法だと感じています。
