This is the most Florida thing I have ever read

The call to that insurance company had to suck.... "you got hit by what?"

On next week's episode of Breaking Baghdad...

I'll start watching more football if they all start wearing Juggernaut helmets

Im finally an elite athlete

41 years ago today, a kid from New Jersey made history by winning the All Valley Karate tournament. He trained for 2 months and beat out other fighters who had dedicated years of their lives to Karate... after his trainer stole a black belt from one of the judges so his student could compete.

Uh... and why wasn't I invited?

It was Marcellus Wallace

Good thing she won. That kid would've had some pretty shitty birthdays for the next 15 years if she hadnt.

Correction.... if Randy Savage was the villain of a Pirates of the Caribbean movie.

genius

That's it, Im getting my Masters degree in Batman. That way, when I say Robert Pattinson was the drizzling shits as Batman, I'll have a college degree for credibility.

Wait.... the "psychic" is unaware that Wicked is the prequel to a movie that premiered in 1939, which was based on a book series that was published in 1907? How many demonic possessions have happened since then? Is that why she's an Ex Psychic?

I mean.... it's Florida

What kind of swamp ass do you have to have that cookie dough starts cooking in your crack?