Dear Past Version of a Me…
Dear viewer you don’t have to read this if you don’t want to. It’s more of a message to myself than anything. TW if you do read though: abuse. DV. Children.
This was us in 2021..
Dear me,
You’ve been on my mind a lot lately especially since being newly engaged.
I wanted to tell you that I am so sorry that you were hurting so much. All you wanted was your little family but you couldn’t see past those rose colored lenses, the amount of damage that was actually being done. It’s not your fault that you couldn’t get out. It’s not your fault that what you thought was love, turned out to be the one of the most damaging experiences you’ve had. You were never shown what safe or true love was, how would you have known? Little you was begging for love in the wrong person. You wanted to have the family you didn’t have growing up and I’m sorry that’s not how it worked out. Please don’t blame yourself for the abuse that you endured and that your babies endured. A hard truth is that you are not responsible for how a grown man acts. It’s not your fault he was hurting you and your babies. You had no help. You had no money. You had nothing. He didn’t care if his behavior would hurt you or the kids. Stop thinking you failed your kids because their father turned out to be a monster. You didn’t know better baby. Your father was just as bad or worse than your ex, again, how could you have known?! You showing up everyday and never giving up shows how much you love your babies!
Please be easy on us. Please allow yourself to forgive yourself and not hold on to that pain anymore.
You and your babies deserved so much better and guess what, NOW YOU HAVE IT!
Now you get to sleep peacefully knowing your babies are safe at night. Now you nor your babies have to walk on eggshells. Now you are being shown on the daily what true and safe love is. Now your children have a father who WANTS to show up every single day, who wants to play with them, who wants to raise them right and teach them how to be amazing human beings.
Baby girl, we needed healing but didn’t know how to get it and NOW WE ARE IN OUR 3rd YEAR of HEALING, LOVING OURSELF, & LEARNING TO BE THE BEST MOM EVER.
#unfiltered #divorcejourney #healing #domesticviolenceawareness #imournher
Healing from domestic violence is a challenging yet vital journey for many survivors and their families. Domestic violence (DV) and abuse leave profound emotional and psychological scars, often making it difficult to recognize safe love or healthy relationships—especially for those who have never experienced them before. This message to a past self highlights the importance of acknowledging abuse without self-blame, recognizing that no one is responsible for another’s harmful actions. Children who experience domestic violence are also deeply affected, making the healing process crucial not only for survivors but for their children’s well-being. Creating a safe environment where children feel secure and loved can help mitigate long-term trauma and teach them about healthy relationships. Forgiveness and self-compassion are key components of healing. Survivors often carry guilt and pain, believing they failed themselves or their children. However, overcoming this mindset and understanding that abuse is never the victim's fault are essential steps toward emotional recovery. Healing also involves learning to love oneself and embracing the possibility of healthy relationships. Many survivors find strength in support networks, therapy, and community awareness programs focused on domestic violence prevention and recovery. Awareness campaigns (#domesticviolenceawareness) and open conversations (#unfiltered) help reduce stigma and promote healing journeys. Navigating divorce or separation (#divorcejourney) can be part of rebuilding life post-abuse. It offers an opportunity to break free from toxic environments and establish a new normal where safety and genuine affection prevail. This letter also underscores the transformative power of time spent healing, learning self-worth, and becoming the best parent possible despite the pain endured. It serves as a testament to resilience and hope for others currently struggling in abusive situations that healing and happiness are attainable. Survivors deserve peace, safe love, and stability, and reaching out for help is the first courageous step toward that brighter future.
Proud of you❤️