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Have you all experienced 🥺💭?

2025/10/15 Edited to

... Read more「義父と同居することになった」と聞いた瞬間、まず頭の中がザワザワして、SNSを開けばカップルやママ投稿が流れてきて余計に落ち込む…この流れ、私はすごくありました。だからこそ最初にやったのは、“状況を変える”より“心の扱い方を整える”こと。森田式(森田療法の考え方)って、ざっくり言うと「不安を消そうとしすぎない」「あるがままに置いたまま、やるべき行動に戻る」なんですよね。 同居が決まると、不安は「嫌われたらどうしよう」「生活が監視されるかも」「家事の基準が合わないかも」みたいに増殖します。でも森田式っぽく考えるなら、不安が出るのは自然。むしろ“不安がある=大事にしたい生活がある”証拠だと捉えました。そこで私は、気持ちを2つに分けてメモしました。 ・変えられないこと:同居が始まる、義父の性格、過去の出来事 ・自分が選べること:連絡頻度、家のルール提案、距離の取り方、相談先 次に、SNS対策。落ち込むなら見なきゃいい…って正論なんですが、疲れてる時ほど見ちゃうんですよね。だから私は「見ない」より「見ても傷つきにくくする」に寄せました。具体的には、カップルやママ投稿で気持ちが沈む相手はミュート、どうしても無理ならブロック。罪悪感が出たら、「相手を否定してるんじゃなくて、自分の心を守ってるだけ」と言い換えました。上辺だけ見て落ち込むのは本当に損だし、SNSは良いところしか載せないことも多いです。 同居の現実面では、“最初に小さな境界線を置く”のが効きました。例えば、 ・家事は「担当」ではなく「できる人ができる範囲」で提案 ・プライベート空間(部屋・収納・スマホ)の線引きを言語化 ・食事やお風呂の時間など、生活リズムを紙にして共有 こういう「やるべき行動」を淡々と積むのが森田式的にも相性よかったです。不安がゼロになってから動く、だと永遠に進まないので。 最後に、気持ちが沈んだ時の合図を決めました。私の場合は「SNSをだらだら見る」「人の幸せが眩しく見える」「マイナスのオーラが出てるかも」と感じたら、いったんスマホを置いて、散歩か温かい飲み物。ほんの5分でも戻れます。 同居って、正解が一個じゃないからこそしんどい。でも「不安はあっていい」「そのまま必要な調整を一つずつ」って軸があるだけで、気持ちのブレが小さくなりました。

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