Does my mom wanna see our new born baby too much?
It’s our firstborn and my mother’s first grandchild. Currently 3 weeks old.
Long story short mom and dad has recently setup their lives to revolve around mine. They are in their late 50’s and are basically already retired, and recently relocated to live in the same area as us, about a 20 minute walk away. She seems to be planning her retirement around our new born baby and is already asking for more time with him during the week.
She is asking for more time and is already pressuring us to have her for a whole afternoon and sleepovers. I have been pushing back at this stage but she dosnt seem to be grasping the message and I feel like a nuclear argument is brewing fast.
What should I do? But I don’t wanna hurt her feelings.
It's common for new parents to feel overwhelmed, especially when it comes to sharing their newborn with family members. Many parents face similar challenges when balancing their own needs with the expectations of grandparents. Understanding and setting boundaries is crucial. When grandparents are eager to bond with their grandchildren, it can sometimes lead to feelings of pressure and guilt for new parents. Here are some strategies to navigate this situation: 1. **Communicate Openly**: Have an honest conversation with your mom about your feelings regarding her involvement. Express your love for her and appreciate her enthusiasm, but clarify your need for space. 2. **Set Clear Boundaries**: Clearly define how much time you are comfortable with her spending with your child. Setting consistent rules can prevent misunderstandings in the future. 3. **Create a Structured Schedule**: Suggest a regular schedule for visits. This approach gives your mother something to look forward to without overwhelming you. 4. **Involve Her in Parenting Decisions**: Engage her in small decisions related to the baby’s care. This can make her feel valued and included without overstepping boundaries. 5. **Seek Support**: Join parenting forums or groups where you can share your experiences and gain advice from others in similar situations. Connecting with others can provide insights and reassurance. Remember, it's essential to balance the joy of grandparent involvement with the needs of the parents. By establishing boundaries, you can maintain a healthy relationship with your mother while ensuring your own needs as a new parent are met.
Tell her you feel pressured. Usually people don’t realize they’re having that effect. It probs will be an argument bc big feelings are on both ends but if you stick to I statements without accusation it could turn out way positive. It’s more than ok for you to want space with your newborn.