Dating Tips as a Gay Man 🤌

If there’s anything gays collectively understand, its that life is much more harder for us than our hetero peers - dating is no different.

I recently went on a date with a guy who had several red flags and some noticeable emotional trauma, therefore I think its important to talk about how to go about dating in the Gay community.

Do

- Learn to love yourself first. 💓

So many gay men are insecure about who they are and they project that onto other guys in the community. Loving yourself means that you understand your flaws, and are comfortable with them nonetheless. You are working towards becoming the best version of yourself everyday either by reading, working out, or alleviating your mind. You look at yourself in the mirror, and you smile in glee for being the person you are. Love yourself.

- Have an idea of your values.💡

Think about what matters to you. Whether thats your education, your job, your family, or friends - your partner should share in those values with you. Although you may feel butterflies for this man now, it’ll be your values that hold you together through the next few years. Personally, my education is very important to me, so I prefer a guy with similar background because I know they will understand me.

Don’t

- Get easily attached. 🕳Attachment is a real issue that so many gay men have… but it can be healed by loving yourself first! Attachment leads to outbursts and ugly emotions that can be inappropriate and bland out rude. Furthermore, you will never be in a steady relationship if you believe that you need attachment to be in a relationship. You’re partner should be just that, a partner. Believing you cannot breathe without someone is the start to a great disaster, not just for your relationship with that partner, but the relationship with yourself.

- Celebrate toxic dating culture. 🔪 So many men enjoy the rush they get from entertaining various guys and making a fanfare out of it, but it’s not cute. It will diminish all and any chance at you finding someone worth your time. Learn to make space in between talking stages with different guys. Learn to be communicating with others and respective of their emotions. Be kind. Its a hard world for us.

There is a lot more I can share, but this may do for now. As a gay man, I wish I understood at an early age how toxic the gay community and dating can be. Thats why I made this post. If you’re a gay man struggling with dating, it is unfortunately normal. My best word of advice is to live your life, work on yourself, and simply hope prince charming comes your way. Good guys do exist, I choose to believe that ;)

#dating

#gay