Childhood Trauma / Trauma in Childhood "An affair thought to be forgettable, but the body remembers everything."

If it comes to the word Childhood Trauma or Childhood Trauma,

Many people only think of violent events.

But actually, trauma doesn't always have to be a big deal.

Psychologists call this type of trauma "small-t trauma."

Is something that seems normal in other people's eyes, but accumulates little by little until it leaves a mark on the mind.

And even scarier - it doesn't go away when we grow up.

It just changes the face and lives inside us.

🧠 What exactly happened in the brain?

When a child faces a situation that feels insecure, physically or emotionally,

The Amygdala part of the brain directs the body into mode.

"Fight, Run or Stiff" (Fight / Flight / Freeze)

If it's repeated often without anyone helping you feel safe,

The brain will "reset" to see the world as dangerous by default.

Even today is grown, the alarm system in the brain still works the same way.

📖 Dr. Bessel van der Kolk described in The Body Keeps the Score as

Trauma is not just stored in memory, but also in the body and nervous system.

That is why, perhaps, we do not "think about" it, but the body is still "feeling."

🔴 The sign that people see it as small, but it's really Trauma Response.

1. Sorry all the time, even if not wrong

Not just "polite," but unconscious self-defense.

Children who grow up in homes that are often blamed learn, "If you apologize first, anger will be less."

When you grow up, the body will do the same automatically, even without danger.

🔗 the American Psychological Association calls this Fawn Response.

One of the survival mechanisms of children is emotionally neglected.

2. Do not dare to reject anyone, even how tired.

It sounds like "too kind," but it's really a fear of neglect.

Children who receive "conditional" love will believe that.

Saying "no" is tantamount to losing love.

🔗 Dr. Gabor Maté calls this behavior "other people's needs" selection.

Come first, "own needs" to survive emotionally.

3. Can't get compliments. Feel uncomfortable or unbelievable every time.

Not humility, but self-image created in childhood.

If you grow up without being sincerely praised or repeatedly told that you can't do anything

The brain creates the belief that "I'm not worthy of good things."

And when praise comes in, the belief system in the brain automatically rejects it.

🔗 Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that

People with low self-esteem from childhood are more likely to reject positive feedback.

Because it goes against a deep-seated self-image.

4. Read the emotions of those around you all the time. Until you are tired without knowing.

Some people think of themselves as just "caring well for others."

But if it happens all the time accidentally and exhausting, it's Hypervigilance.

Children in homes where adult emotions are uncertain train their brains to "scan" every signal around them.

To prepare before anything happens.

🔗 ACE Study (CDC & Kaiser Permanente), studied in a sample of 17,000 + people, found that

A child who grows up in an emotionally insecure environment.

There are unusually high levels of cortisol (stress hormone), even in real harmless situations.

5. Fear of being dumped in extremes. Just people who don't answer the phone are alarmed.

Not "oversensitive," but Anxious Attachment.

A child who has been physically or emotionally neglected.

Will create an attachment style that sees "silence = danger sign."

Growing up, the brain interprets the same kind of silence, even though the reality is different.

🔗 Attachment Theory - John Bowlby / Mary Ainsworth

Proven that the first relationship in life shapes every relationship in the future.

6. Destroy the good things in life before it disappears. (Self-Sabotage)

It's like deliberately breaking a relationship or letting good opportunities get out of hand.

But the brain is trying to control pain.

If I had ended it first, I wouldn't have been hurt by neglect.

🔗 Dr. Bessel van der Kolk explains that Self-sabotage is often

Attempts by the subconscious to "control the outcome"

In a world where childhood teaches that everything can break without warning signs,

⚠️ When not healed - a wound that goes deeper than it looks.

The above behavior sounds acceptable.

But if the trauma is not treated, it will erode life in all dimensions.

And this is what actually happens in the long run.

🧠. Mental health.

Chronic depression and anxiety disorder

It's not just "emotions up and down," it's the nervous system that's been reset abnormally.

The body and brain are in tension mode virtually all the time.

Even without the triggering event.

🔗, the ACE Study found that people who had many bad childhood experiences

There is a 4.5 times higher risk of depression than the average person.

Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)

Unlike conventional PTSD, it is caused by repeated accumulation of pain.

The symptoms are uncontrollable, feeling alienated from myself.

And feel deeply impaired without knowing the cause.

🔗 Dr. Judith Herman, who coined the term C-PTSD, explained in Trauma and Recovery that

C-PTSD breaks down the sense of who they are deeper than conventional PTSD.

And often misdiagnosed with other diseases for years.

Dissociation - feeling floating away from yourself.

It feels like "watching yourself from the outside" or some moments "disappear" without remembering.

This is the mechanism the brain developed to protect itself from unbearable pain.

But when you grow up, it becomes a barrier to real life.

💔 Relationship side.

Attracted to repeated toxic relationships unconsciously.

The brain is programmed to be familiar with the known.

If childhood is full of uncertain love, reproach, or control,

The brain will interpret that as "the feeling of love."

And will lean towards people who feel the same way in adulthood.

🔗 Psychologists call this Trauma Bonding.

Emotional attachment to someone who causes pain.

Because the brain binds "stress + unraveling" to feelings of love.

Unknowingly became both a receiver and a Trauma forward.

This is the heaviest part.

People who are not healed tend to pass on the same pattern to their offspring.

Not because of not loving, but because of what is not being treated; it always continues.

🔗 Research from the American Journal of Psychiatry found that

Parenting patterns that come from trauma can be transmitted.

Both through behavior and at the epigenetics (gene expression) level.

🏥 physical health.

Chronic diseases and weak immunity.

Trauma is not only in thought; it is also in body cells.

Long-term cumulative stress causes the immune system to malfunction.

🔗 ACE Study found a clear link between childhood trauma and

Heart disease (+ 2.2 times risk) Self-destructive immune disease

Obesity, diabetes and shorter life expectancy on average

Causal physical pain

Chronic headache, abdominal pain without disease, constant stiffness of shoulder neck

Go to the doctor repeatedly, but everything's normal.

These are often signs that the body sends out instead of unreleased trauma.

🔗 Dr. Bessel van der Kolk called this Somatization.

The mind transforms emotional pain into physical symptoms.

⚠️ Behavioral aspects

Addiction to substance, alcohol, or behavior to escape the truth.

It's not just "lack of discipline," it's the brain trying to stop the pain.

The substance dopamine temporarily depresses cortisol, making it feel "rested from myself."

But the more dependent, the more needed,

🔗 Dr. Gabor Maté explains in In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts that

"Almost every form of addiction has its roots in the pain."

Not weakness, but emotional survival efforts.

Thoughts hurt themselves or don't want to live.

This is a sign that needs to be discussed honestly.

Not because I want to die, but because I want to stop the pain I don't know how to deal with.

🔗, the ACE Study found that people with high childhood bad experiences

There's a 12 times higher risk of trying to hurt yourself than the average person.

💬 It's heavier than it looks, but not the end.

Childhood Trauma is not about people who are "just petty."

It's a wound in the nervous system, in hormones, in body cells.

And in every relationship model in life,

But what is learned can be relearned.

The brain has the ability to change called Neuroplasticity.

And treatment is possible if you know what you're carrying. 🌱

📚 Reference source

• The Body Keeps the Score - Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

• Trauma and Recovery - Dr. Judith Herman

• In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts - Dr. Gabor Maté

• ACE Study - CDC & Kaiser Permanente (1998)

• Attached - Dr. Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

• Attachment Theory - John Bowlby / Mary Ainsworth

• Journal of Personality and Social Psychology

• American Journal of Psychiatry - Intergenerational Trauma Research

# ChildhoodTrauma # TraumaInVaiDek # CPTSD # TraumaResponse # FawnResponse# SelfSabotage # TraumaBonding # HyperVigilance # AttachmentTheory # MentalHealth # Mental health # Psychology # Self-understanding # HealingJourney # Lemon8