Make It Make Sense…

Have you ever been in a situation where someone caused you pain, and then, completely bafflingly, acted like their feelings were the ones that needed soothing? It's a phenomenon I've encountered far too often, and honestly, it can feel incredibly frustrating and even maddening. This whole idea of 'my truth' versus objective reality is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, especially when it comes to relationships and personal interactions. What exactly is 'my truth'? It often refers to an individual's subjective experience, their personal narrative, and how they perceive a situation. It's valid to acknowledge personal feelings. However, the problem arises when 'my truth' is used to completely disregard or override objective facts, accountability, or the impact of one's actions on others. For instance, if someone clearly wrongs you, but then insists 'their truth' is that they're a good person and you should just understand their intentions, it creates a huge disconnect. They might be genuinely upset by your reaction, making it seem like you're the one being unreasonable, even though they initiated the harm. This cultural phenomenon of prioritizing 'my truth' above all else feels amplified today. Maybe it's social media, where everyone curates their own narrative, or perhaps it's a byproduct of a more individualistic society. Whatever the cause, it leads to situations where people can genuinely *fuck you over*, and then, with astounding audacity, *expect you to still take their feelings into consideration*. It’s like they paint themselves as the victim of your reaction, rather than the perpetrator of their initial action. I've personally found myself scratching my head, wondering how someone could be so oblivious, or perhaps, so self-centered. It's a hard pill to swallow when you’re trying to process being hurt, only to be met with demands for your empathy towards the person who hurt you. My emotional energy is finite, and I've learned that it's crucial to distinguish between genuine remorse and manipulative victimhood. So, how do we navigate this? First, acknowledge your own feelings. Your pain is valid. Second, recognize that while someone's feelings are real to them, those feelings don't erase their actions or their responsibility. You don't owe anyone empathy if they haven't shown accountability or remorse for their behavior. It's about setting boundaries for your own mental peace. You can understand why someone might feel a certain way without excusing their actions or allowing them to shift the blame. It's a tough #lifelesson, but learning to identify these patterns is empowering. Protecting your peace means not getting caught in the trap of constantly having to validate someone else's 'truth' when it contradicts the objective reality of how they've treated you. Remember, facts over feelings isn't about being heartless; it's about holding people accountable and protecting your own well-being from those who exploit empathy without earning it.