All the feelings i felt when i left my first job
Warning: Long post ahead
But read on if you want to know raw unfiltered feelings 👀
Excited - excited to be called for the interview, excited to receive the call that a second total stranger is keen to take me in as part of his team, excited for whats to come, will i be motivated at work, will i be energised by what i can do, will the team be fun to be with and allow me to wake up every morning happy to go to work?
Excited to be writing a resignation for the first time. I felt like ive graduated and ready to go out to meet the world.
But also worry - worry about how my current work will be sorted out, worry about how i am supposed to tell my boss i want to and will be leaving the team, worry about can my colleagues cope with the added workload (at least until they find my replacement), worry if people will think im quitting cuz i cant manage, that im weak.
Overthinking what is the true reason that i wanted to quit, what people will think as i leave, how would people react when i deliver this news to them, how should i be delivering this news?
Guilt - of pulling out of all the projects im a part of, whenever bosses and the team discussed future plans and my roles in them but i couldnt yet tell them to plan without me in mind because i havent signed the offer letter, wondering if im being irresponsible by walking off like this.
But i think at the core of it, i cant see a future of stability, of impact, of fulfilment being in this role. Im always putting out fires and rushing against deadlines, but i dont see the result. Its just decks after decks, emails after emails, approvals after clearances. What am i really doing here? Rushing around attending meetings, stressing over giving inputs and presenting, being hit by anxiety whenever emails come in. The only result was being able to clear my inbox by reading all the emails, but red flags everywhere.
I just wanted to go somewhere with clarity, where i can see exactly how things will change, where i can feel the impact.
I felt stuck in never-ending changes, being tossed here and there to complete things. I want to take charge of my life again. I want my life outside of work back again.
#workplaceculture #corporate #quittingyourjob #quarterlifecrisis #mindsetshifts
Leaving a first job is never an easy decision, and the emotions that come with it can be overwhelming. I vividly remember feeling a whirlwind of excitement mixed with anxiety. The sense of accomplishment in getting hired and starting anew often clashes with the fear of the unknown. Like many, I struggled with how to communicate my resignation, wondering if others would perceive it as a weakness or failure. One thing I found helpful was focusing on the reasons behind my decision. It wasn’t just about escaping stress or tight deadlines—it was about seeking meaningful impact and stability that my role couldn’t provide. This mindset shift helped me embrace the change with courage rather than guilt. Another challenge is managing the transition smoothly—ensuring current responsibilities were handed over without burdening colleagues excessively. It takes empathy and honesty to navigate this, and learning to trust your team is crucial. For anyone contemplating quitting a job, remember that it’s okay to prioritize your mental health and personal growth. I realized that constantly firefighting at work without visible progress was unsustainable. Seeking a place that offers clarity, purpose, and the ability to balance work and life felt like reclaiming my identity. If you feel stuck in an endless cycle of tasks and stress, reflecting on these feelings can be the first step towards change. Don’t hesitate to reach out to friends or mentors, and prepare a thoughtful resignation process. The journey after your first job is a chance to redefine what success means to you and to build a career that truly resonates with your values and aspirations.
