Story Time - Part 2
Pregnancy brings all kinds of emotions and uncertainty. My first pregnancy I felt so connected to my daughter. Her name felt right from the moment I picked it out. Almost like it was meant to be her name. A perfect fit.
However with my son, his dad and I picked out the name. I didn’t feel that strong connection to my son throughout my pregnancy. I guess I was too stuck in my own head to fully enjoy this pregnancy.
His name didn’t ‘feel’ right and I didn’t like the sound of it right up until he was brought into the world.
It’s crazy because while the entire time he was growing in my belly, I was scared I wasn’t going to love him as much as my daughter. Hormones were really messing with me during his stay in my belly.
Though the moment he was born, everything, and I mean absolutely everything fell right into place.
His name made perfect sense and fit him so well I couldn’t imagine him with any other name.
I loved him so much and realized that he was what I was missing. The bond between him and his sister is something I hope they both will cherish as they get older.
And for a while, everything felt right and great. Until it didn’t.
I suddenly became so aware of how damaged I was from my own ‘family’ and all I went through with my daughter when she was an infant. It became clear when I could t let my son out of my site for a moment. When any time he wasn’t in my arms, I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to leave him with anyone ever. I didn’t want anyone holding him or watching him without me. I could barely leave the house on my own or even with both of the kids.
My anxiety was at its highest it’s been and it was affecting my ability to be a great mom to my babies.
Finally I went to the dr and got on some meds to help with my anxiety and the depression that was trying to sneak back in.
And after a while, I felt better and I felt calmer and the thought of my son being with others didn’t send me straight into a panic attack.
Yet still, I didn’t feel like me.
#storytime #embracevulnerability #Lemon8Diary #mentalhealthjourney #mentalhealth #happyyourehere
Pregnancy is an emotional rollercoaster for many, often filled with joy, anxiety, and self-discovery. Each pregnancy can feel different, as women navigate the challenges of motherhood. For some, forming a connection with their unborn child can be an instantaneous spark, while for others it may take time to develop. The pressure to love one's child, especially when compounded by past experiences, can lead to overwhelming anxiety and fears of inadequacy as a parent. Mental health during pregnancy is crucial, as hormonal changes and life adjustments can affect emotional well-being. Seeking help, whether through therapy or medication, can be vital for managing anxiety and depression. It's essential to prioritize mental health and foster supportive environments for new mothers. Building a network of understanding friends and family can offer relief and a sense of community. Embracing vulnerabilities and sharing experiences can lessen feelings of isolation and create meaningful connections. As mothers learn to balance their emotions and their responsibilities to their children, they often find strength through acknowledging their struggles and seeking help when necessary. Addressing mental health openly promotes a healthier mindset, benefiting both mothers and their children.
