My positive birth story as a first time mom

I wanted to pop in and share a positive birth story, because I feel like there are so many posts and stories that focus on what went wrong. As a first time mom who has been manifesting a perfect home birth since I was in high school, all I wanted to read were positive stories of quick, vaginal, unmedicated deliveries. While I still managed to prepare for the worst case scenario and include it in my birth plan, I only wanted to fill my thoughts and subconscious with positive thoughts and positive stories.

I feel like we live in a world where a lot of people try to shut down birth plans and tell you to expect the worst instead. I know that all births are different. Some people choose to be medicated, while others may choose a cesarean. Some end up giving birth in a way completely opposite than what they envisioned. None of those methods are wrong, and I believe everyone is entitled to plan for the type of birth they find ideal and that fits their lifestyle/ current situation. My goal here is only to share my positive story with you and hopefully be a bit of light in a world so dim.

My estimated due date was 3/21/24. Our little guy came on 3/16/24.

That morning, I had two contractions that I assumed were Braxton Hicks, so I ignored them. Around 7 am I felt a third one, which finally gave me reason to believe I should start timing them, so I pulled out my app and did so. I let about three more come before saying anything, because I needed to make sure this was really it. I didn’t need to freak anyone out. They were about 20-30 min apart, so I rolled over and alerted my fiancé that “I think it’s time.”

Thankfully, he was able to remain calm. He got dressed and fixed me breakfast while I showered. Prior to my shower, I noticed a bloody show which served as another layer of confirmation. My goal was to have a spontaneous, unmedicated, hospital birth, and labor at home for as long as possible. So, after my shower, I then took a nap since everything and every book I read suggested to do so during early labor so your energy can be preserved for the tough part that’s to come later.

I will say I wasn’t able to fall into a deep sleep and completely ignore them as they were somewhat uncomfortable. The good thing about that is I was able to wake from my moments of rest to continue tracking my contractions.

After a while, they started to get a bit more intense, but not unbearable. At this point I notified my doula who let me know to follow up with her when they consistently became 10 minutes apart so she could prepare to meet me at my house. Through each contraction, I focused on my breathing techniques and worked to relax all parts of my body as these were the two big things I took from my research into/ learning of hypnobirthing.

I was still able to time the contractions myself, eagerly waiting for them to consistently be 10 minutes apart. The length of my contractions were around 30 seconds to 1.5ish minutes, and the timing from one to the other was kind of all over the place, ranging from 15 min - 10 min, sometimes even a few minutes. I ended up having one contraction that was 11 minutes after the one prior, and from then on they were consistently 2-3 minutes apart.

I sent my doula a screenshot, and she FaceTimed me so she could watch me go through one, and she said I looked so calm that she didn’t think it was time yet, but that she was getting ready to head to my house for support until it was time to leave. At this point, I had given my fiancé my phone to time them for me as I could only focus on the contractions. While he felt we should be heading to the hospital, like now, I was in agreement with my doula thinking it wasn’t time yet. Everything I researched said if you can still talk it’s not time. I was still having full conversations in between and able to give short responses during, so I was very doubtful and very afraid to go to the hospital to either be sent back or still be at a point in my labor where they would try to push unwanted interventions to speed things up.

The contractions continued to intensify, but they were still bearable. Possibly because I kept telling myself it would get worse. As each contraction came with increasing intensity, I was kind of like, okay, this is the pain. I can handle this until it passes.

My fiancé ended up convincing me to head to the hospital, so I let my doula know we were in route, and she met us there.

I made it to triage, and as one of the two nurses checked me, she jokingly asked if I wanted a c-section. My fiancé caught the joke, but it went completely over my head 😂😂, and I nervously just shook my head “no.” She looked at the other nurse and let her know I was 9.5 cm dilated and fully effaced. I was SO EFFING HAPPY. I looked at my fiancé and and quietly yelled, “I did it!!!!” I was so proud of myself, and he let me know he was as well.

They wheeled me to L&D where my midwife asked and I okayed her breaking my water since it was was still in tact, and I was allowed to labor in various positions. Through all of this and in between contractions, a nurse was attempting to place an IV. They pricked me about 5 times with no luck, and then just let me be.

My final position ended up being on my knees, in the bed facing the back with the back lifted enough for me to lean on. My midwife was sitting on her knees on the floor in front of the bed keeping watch, and she told me she could start to see baby’s hair.

I was completely over it at this point, and wanted him out, so I asked what I had to do to get there. My midwife said I was okay to push, and my doula was telling me to push like I had to poop. Funnily enough, while everyone says it feels like you need to poop when it’s time to push, it did not feel that way for me, so my brain could not figure out how to activate those muscles lmao 😂😂.

There was another nurse who saw me come into the hospital but was not assigned to me. She let me know she had 6 unmedicated births, and she was excited to see that I had chose the same. As I was having my contractions she came and whispered in my ear to think about everything I was ever mad at and to push it out. I don’t really harbor anger like that, and I couldn’t think of anything angering, but I got the point, and I was finally able to push with all my might.

Then I felt the ring of fire, and it immediately stopped me in my tracks. The nurse and my doula let me know what it was and basically that the only way to get passed that part, was to get him out. This was BY FAR the worse part of the entire experience for me, oddly enough, but again, I was over it and ready to bring things to an end lol.

The next contraction after that, I pushed for as hard and as long as I could, and out came his head with his body following. The sensation of his body slithering out was so strange lol.

Baby boy was born at 7:46 pm, and the midwife immediately gave him to me for some skin to skin and so we could enjoy our golden hour. Throughout my entire birthing experience and especially in this moment, my doula was doing her big one when it came to offering the proper support and making sure I was able to provide full consent to all the things being done to me or baby.

During our golden hour, baby was able to latch successfully for his first little, post birth meal, which I am eternally grateful for as his suckling triggered uterine contractions, the birthing of my placenta, and the privilege to decline the “after delivery” dose of Pitocin.

If you’re wondering if I chose to keep my placenta, I did not, but I did opt in to have it shown to me, and I was able to see all of its intricate workings along with the remnants of the sack that kept baby safe during his stay.

The hospital kept me in L&D for two hours for monitoring. Once we got the clear, we were wheeled up to the postpartum unit where we stayed for 3 days, and upon arrival, baby got to spend some time with dad.

While I didn’t get the home birth I had been planning for (insurance issues), my hospital birth at a family-centered hospital was as close to perfect as I could have wished for. My doula was truly the best, the nursing staff was amazing, and my midwife was a gift.

#birthstory #firsttimemom #unmedicatedbirth #hospitalbirth #birthexperience #positivebirth #storytime #embracevulnerability #naturalbirth