How I Feel aboutBeing Bipolar
I used to joke that I was bipolar. Since I was a kid, I could feel something was different — I didn’t fit in easily. Friendships didn’t come naturally, and when they did, I struggled to keep up. Weeks could pass without reaching out, and when I finally did, I’d pick up the conversation like we talked five minutes ago.
To those who have stayed — thank you for loving me through it, even when it’s hard. I wish I could always show up differently. I wish my brain worked like everyone else’s. But this is me.
I’ve always been outgoing, loud, full of energy — for a long time, I thought it was just ADHD. But it’s more than that. Impulsive spending, emotional outbursts, crashing over things that others might brush off — it’s a pattern I can’t ignore.
Most people wouldn’t guess I’m bipolar. I “hide it well.” I’m “high functioning.” But that’s exactly the thing — bipolar doesn’t always look like what people think. Some of us are creatives, lovers, dreamers, entrepreneurs, mothers, leaders… all while navigating intense highs and lows behind the scenes.
People tell me, “I don’t know how you do it all.” I laugh and say, “Oh I’m bipolar.” They laugh too. But I’m not joking. 😂 My brain moves fast — even when I try to rest, it’s going 75mph. I wish I could slow it down. But I’ve learned to work with it, not against it.
Bipolar doesn’t define me, but it’s part of me. It affects how I move, think, feel, love. It’s taken a toll on my family. It’s exhausted my husband, who not only shows up for me, but also for our children when I can’t. We’ve learned to read the signs, prepare for the storms, and still — we don’t always have it together.
But we try. With honesty. With love. With grace.
And that counts for something. 💛
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