just a lil rant cause it still pisses me off
I was at work a week or so ago, just minding my business, when a man walked up to me and asked if I was having twins. It caught me off guard and honestly hurt my feelings. After he left, I immediately went into the bathroom and cried.
I’m seven months pregnant, with 11 weeks left to go. Yes, I’m aware my body is changing in ways I can’t control. Going from 110 pounds on a good day to now almost pushing 170 has completely transformed me. His question felt like he was pointing out that I look bigger than I “should,” and that broke my little heart.
I’ve struggled with body image for as long as I can remember. In middle school, I carried around a notebook and wrote down every calorie. If I didn’t know how many calories were in something, I wouldn’t eat it. I’ve had an eating disorder most of my life, until I got pregnant. My body changes every single day, and sometimes when I look in the mirror, I barely recognize myself.
Pregnancy already comes with so many emotions. Your body doesn’t always feel like your own, and you’re constantly worrying if you’re doing everything right for your baby. As much as I struggled with eating at first, I knew my son was precious and deserved nourishment even on days when I didn’t feel like eating. (Now, I eat everything in sight.) I saw a nutritious doctor a couple months ago who told me i need to eat less, which that pissed me off too because apparently you’re only supposed to gain 50 or so pounds during pregnancy. Every pregnancy is different. If i’m hungry i’m going to eat, especially after years of neglecting myself. But hearing a comment like that made me instantly insecure, even though I know every pregnancy looks different, especially for someone who was underweight and is now finally healthy.
What might seem like an innocent question to someone else can actually make a pregnant woman feel insecure, uncomfortable, and self conscious especially when she’s already carrying so much physically and emotionally. I truly believe nobody should be commenting on a pregnant woman’s body. Or anyone’s body, for that matter. Sometimes all we really need is kindness and support, not commentary on how we look or how you think we “should” look.
And besides he was a man. How much does he really know about pregnancy anyway?
Pregnancy is a deeply transformative journey, both physically and emotionally, and it often brings complex feelings about body image and self-worth. As the article highlights, insensitive remarks such as a stranger asking, “Are you having twins?” can unexpectedly trigger emotional pain, especially when one is already coping with significant bodily changes. Many pregnant women experience fluctuations in weight and appearance, which are natural and vary widely among individuals. According to medical guidance, weight gain during pregnancy depends on the mother's pre-pregnancy weight and health status. For example, those who were underweight might gain more than the average recommendation of 25-35 pounds to support a healthy pregnancy. This variability underscores why comments on how much one ‘‘should’’ weigh or look can be inappropriate and harmful. Moreover, pregnancy hormones can heighten emotions and vulnerability, making negative comments even more impactful. Body image struggles can linger long before pregnancy, as the author’s history with an eating disorder demonstrates. Pregnancy can serve as a turning point toward better nourishment and health, yet external judgments can rekindle insecurities. Experts emphasize the importance of supportive communication with pregnant women. Instead of unsolicited remarks about size or shape, expressing kindness and focusing on well-being helps create a positive environment. For example, healthcare professionals advocate for encouraging balanced nutrition and mental health support rather than policing weight gain. The article also implicitly raises awareness about gendered assumptions in commenting on pregnancy. A man’s uninformed question about twins illustrates how lacking understanding about the physical and emotional realities of pregnancy can lead to unintentional offense. It highlights the need for society to be more empathetic to pregnant women's experiences. Finally, public awareness campaigns about respectful communication and mental health in pregnancy can foster more supportive communities. Recognizing that every pregnancy is unique and avoiding body shaming or unsolicited commentary can help pregnant women feel empowered and valued during this vulnerable time.
I’m so sorry :(( I understand about the weight thing though and body dysmorphia. I used to be pushing 160 and couldn’t see my toes and then I got on birth control because me and my boyfriend had a pregnancy scare. It made me depressed and gave me insomnia so I got off it. The result was that I lost sm weight I dropped down to 115 and you could see my bones. I was sooooo freaking insecure before and then seeing my bones made me even more insecure. I’ve struggled to get to 135 and trying my best to eat healthy and workout to atleast get to 145. Well now I’m freaking 12 weeks pregnant can’t keep nothing down and I went to the doctors the other day and I’m down to 126. I had to keep myself from crying because all my hard work from over the years gone within just a few weeks. I noticed it in my arms but everyone kept denying it and saying it was in my head. But anyways, people are very insensitive when it comes to pregnant women’s bodies, and I’m so sorry someone thought it was okay to even comment on your body. You have so many things going on with your body from actually having a baby in there, to the fluid, possibly being full and bloated. So many factors. Just know you’re beautiful no matter what ❤️