Definitely more times than we’ve been offered assistance opening a door or grabbing something off a high shelf.
We have been asked this question an unsavory amount of times.
So often, in fact, that it’s become a universally recognized expression of discontent among disabled folx. It’s something we’ve started to bond over.
Please, when speaking to disabled folx, never ask this question or try to tie their disability to mental illness. Instead, listen to understand. Empathize with their experience. Show you care in a way that recognizes how truly difficult life must be for that person and how voraciously they have already searched for solutions.
All that being said, though, a gesture of kindness is never wrong. But! Now that you’ve heard it from a disabled person, just don’t do it.
What are some other things that able-bodied folx suggest by default for your disability?? I’ll go first! Check the comments for mine! ;P
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... Read moreFrom personal experience navigating chronic pain, I can attest that the question "Have you tried yoga?" is a double-edged sword. On the surface, it might seem like a well-meaning suggestion, but for many of us with disabilities, especially those involving chronic pain, it feels dismissive and oversimplified.
Yoga, while beneficial for some, is not a universal fix. When someone suggests yoga as a cure-all, it overlooks the complex realities of living with persistent pain or disability. Personally, I've tried yoga multiple times. Despite my best efforts, it didn't significantly alleviate my symptoms. This experience is echoed by many in disability communities who have tried countless remedies searching for relief.
What often makes this question sting is the implicit assumption that the person asking believes the disability is solely physical or even related to mental health, such as depression, without understanding the nuanced and sometimes invisible nature of chronic illnesses. This can feel invalidating and exhausting when you’ve likely already explored every avenue you could think of.
Instead of defaulting to "Have you tried yoga?", a better approach is to listen actively to disabled individuals’ experiences without jumping to solutions. Empathy involves recognizing the struggle, the ongoing search for answers, and the emotional toll it takes. Genuine kindness isn’t about offering quick fixes but about respecting their journey and offering support that acknowledges their challenges.
Furthermore, this phrase has become a sort of inside joke or bonding expression among disabled folx, who recognize it as a common but frustrating refrain. Sharing these moments can help build solidarity and raise awareness about the microaggressions often faced.
So, next time you want to help, consider simply asking, "How are you doing?" or "What kind of support would be helpful?" rather than jumping to suggestions. Sometimes, just being heard and understood is the most meaningful form of kindness.
as a fellow chronic pain haver, as much as I love yoga it makes me feel so much worse afterwards 😭😭