Don’t chase POTENTIAL— check the PRODUCE.

In my own experience, focusing on a person's potential rather than what they actually produce in the present can lead to disappointment and emotional turmoil. It's easy to get caught up in imagining what someone could become, especially when their promises are beautiful and hopeful. However, as the Bible teaches in Matthew 7:16, "You will know them by their fruits," meaning that consistent behavior reveals true character. When evaluating a relationship, I found it helpful to observe patterns such as emotional consistency, accountability, and how the person handles conflict. For example, do they communicate openly and resolve issues in a peaceful, respectful way? Or are they easily irritated, prideful, or avoid taking responsibility? These daily actions are the real produce that reflect maturity and integrity. One practical tip I learned is to watch for emotional safety. Are you able to express yourself without feeling like you’re walking on eggshells? Lack of discipline or impatience may also indicate unresolved fears or anxieties affecting the relationship's health. Over time, these subtle signs accumulate, and ignoring them can lead to prolonged disappointment. Instead of hoping for change or fearing the future, grounding your expectations in what’s consistently happening now provides clarity. This approach helped me develop a kingdom mindset—focusing not just on potential, but on fruit that aligns with shared values such as kindness, accountability, and faithfulness. Ultimately, checking the produce means valuing real, tangible actions over promises or imagination. It’s a guide toward healthier relationships that protect your emotional wellbeing and lead to genuine partnership built on truth and consistent care.