singapore doesn’t have enough of a smiling culture

the other day, i smiled at someone from a different department at work when it dawned on me how natural that felt. while the act in itself was a mere friendly move, it surprised me how unconscious of a habit it had become for me.

a month has passed since i came back from exchange in europe and prior to me living abroad, the act of acknowledging someone with a nod or smile was not something that i did—at least not naturally. i suppose over the few months in europe, i had somewhat developed this new muscle memory and it wasn’t something i had realised until that day in the office.

as i type this, i’m standing on an lrt platform with 18 people, 13 of which (myself included 🫣) have their heads buried in their phones. have we lost our connection in reality to the virtual world?

when someone enters a lift we are in, it’s sad how common it has become to simply ignore the presence of a whole separate entity entering our 2x2 sqm radius.

was i blind to this before i stayed overseas? possibly. i was probably even actively feeding into this culture of disinterest and disconnection.

is this why everyone talks about how unfriendly singaporeans are?

for where my thoughts on this stand, i don’t think the issue lies with singaporeans being unfriendly but rather that we as a society have made it a norm to pass each other by with zero acknowledgement.

i believe that our “lack of friendliness” can possibly be attributed to two reasons:

- conservative asian values which have made us conscious of overstepping our boundaries, and

- social conditioning which has ingrained the feeling of “paiseh” in us to the point that we feel too self conscious to even lock eyes with a stranger sitting across us in the bus.

i don’t think that this phenomenon is in any way new or surprising to most of us, but i do think that it is something that we do not articulate nearly enough. and i believe that this decline in our neighbourliness and “kampung spirit” is feeding into the loneliness epidemic in singapore.

what i envision is a community where people are more inclined to acknowledge each other. naturally, and not in a forced manner. small nods lead to small smiles which leads to small talk and then bigger interactions.

i think that small change starts from us as individuals, simply just taking the first step to look up when we walk past strangers. anyway, that’s all for my thoughts of the day. let me know your opinions!

#RealTalk #opinion #opinionswanted #singaporelifestyle #cultureshock

2025/8/8 Edited to

Reflecting on my experience, I’ve come to understand that the sense of ‘paiseh’—a feeling of shyness or embarrassment deeply rooted in Singapore’s culture—plays a big role in why many avoid eye contact or smiling at strangers. Social norms emphasize personal boundaries and privacy, which can inadvertently reduce friendliness in public spaces. From riding public transport to walking in crowded areas, I’ve noticed many of us retreat into our own worlds, often glued to our phones. This disconnection not only affects our interactions but also contributes to feelings of isolation. It’s interesting how a simple smile can sometimes break this barrier, making daily encounters warmer and more genuine. Incorporating small gestures, like nodding or saying ‘hi’, could help revive the ‘kampung spirit’—that cherished neighborly warmth Singaporeans once had. It’s a gradual process; we don’t need grand gestures, just consistent small steps to slowly bridge cultural gaps and make friendliness a natural part of our social fabric again. Personally, I’ve started trying to look up more often instead of burying my head in my phone. It feels like a tiny but meaningful way to reconnect with the community. Perhaps if more people begin this practice, our public spaces will feel less isolated and more welcoming, encouraging spontaneous conversations and stronger social bonds. Ultimately, addressing these socio-cultural factors with openness can enrich everyday life. It’s about reclaiming a sense of belonging and support, reminding us that friendliness isn’t just about smiles; it's about breaking down invisible walls and fostering genuine human connections in our fast-paced urban world.