Becoming “Stacy” to release this song was more than a performance art series, or a publicity stunt. I did it for everyone out there that has never felt good enough in their own skin-
but honestly? I did this sh t for me.
Because like most women I know, I’ve felt the unbearable weight of the pressure to be perfect. I have picked my face apart for flaws. I have tried Botox. I have tried filler. I have become obsessed with “skincare” (more disguised fear). I have been a Crossfitter to perfect my body. I have extreme dieted which led to flirting with an ED about 10 years ago. I have lived in feared getting older, missing my window to accomplish my goals, and therefore laid expectations on myself that no one should have to meet. All the while being told I may not be “relatable” by suits.
6 years ago when I shaved my head was when the shackles of perfection began falling off. I realized I was more than something to be looked at. And perhaps if I wasn’t always inherently viewed like “a pretty little girl”, both by myself and the outside world, I could be to be more. I could be less. I could be anything.
Becoming Stacy was the icing on the cake of perfectionism burnout. I stayed up 2 full nights making her costumes. I spent weeks pouring over every detail. … and the outcome is someone I do not recognize.
Now, thats what I fear more than getting older, or being out of shape, or not being everyone’s idea of “beautiful”. I fear waking up one day and looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself because I became someone else to fit a mold. Becoming Miss Hot Honey made me realize that being perfect is seriously played out. The only thing that is truly cool anymore is authenticity. And if thats not “relatable” then I’m okay with not having that label either.
One of the most profound lessons I've learned in my own journey toward self-acceptance is that the societal notion of perfection is not only unrealistic but also deeply exhausting. The quote from the article, "We're all born naked, the rest is drag," beautifully captures the idea that so much of what we put on—whether physical, emotional, or social—is a kind of costume or performance we feel pressured to maintain. This resonated with me personally because it helped me realize that much of the stress and unhappiness I felt was tied to trying to fit into molds created by others. When I reflection on times I obsessed over skincare routines, dieting, or trying to alter my appearance, I see now these were coping mechanisms hiding deeper fears—not living authentically but camouflaging insecurities. Like the author, I found freedom in shedding these layers, both figuratively and literally, by embracing imperfection and redefining what beauty means to me. Creating a persona or 'drag' can sometimes be empowering, but it becomes problematic when it disconnects us from our true selves. The fear of losing identity by becoming "someone else" strikes a chord—it’s a common struggle when conforming to external beauty standards. Yet, the empowerment comes when we decide authenticity holds more value than any label or stereotype. Moreover, this journey towards self-acceptance isn’t linear or effortless. There are moments of relapse, doubt, and societal pushback. However, embracing our unique stories and imperfections enables genuine connections with others. We stop trying to be 'relatable' according to corporate or media standards and start being relatable in the truest sense—by being real. Finally, the pressures around aging, achievement timelines, and body image are often compounded by societal narratives. Challenging these narratives through personal expression, like the author did by becoming "Stacy" or "Miss Hot Honey," can be therapeutic and liberating. It reminds us all that perfection is not the goal; authenticity and self-love are. For anyone struggling with these issues today, remember: your value isn't tied to flawless skin, a perfect body, or any other external measure. It’s in your authenticity, your story, and your courage to embrace who you truly are beyond any mask or costume.
Beautifully said! 🔥🍯