I quit my job instead of offing myself

Sounds dramatic but when you are closer to 40 then to 20, have three children, and haven’t been living your truth, you get to some very dark scary places. I have considered leaving all this behind, permanently. I have considered getting in my car and driving away and never coming back. I’ve cried, been untrusting of all those I work with, and my nerves have been shot. Just because you can do a job doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

I will never be a casino dealer again. Being called the wrong name all night every night by the same customers AND employees was the start. Missing all holidays with my family to be yelled at and blamed for gamblers losing a game. It’s enough to make you want to just end it all.

I’m autistic and contamination lead ocd. I had to mask and compartmentalize every single night. I was edgy, tired, mad, sad, and hopeless.

NO AMOUNT OF MONEY IS WORTH LIVING THAT WAY.

So, I quit. Abruptly. I gave zero notice. I don’t care. The weight that immediately lifted was worth my weight in gold. I feel free and like I can breathe. Don’t waste time at a job that is killing you. Time is all we have and we don’t have much. Don’t waste it. Invest in YOU. You can do it. ❤️ #embracevulnerability #unfiltered #Lemon8Diary #tablegamesdealer #vegaslocals