We’ll all be rich in Jesus’ name. Say amen. 🤣
This is a long video but hopefully we have a great conversation about this.
When I got this question, I’m not going to lie, I was a little confused. Yes, I made a very intentional effort to get my ducks in a row before becoming a mom, but I also don’t think I waited that long. I had my daughter at 29, and in my opinion, that’s still young. Our Nigerian parents might disagree, and the “trad wives of today” crowd might too, but your 20s are still incredibly young.
That said, I don’t regret waiting until I felt ready. Looking back, I know I would’ve been going through it if I had my daughter any earlier.
I’ve always said this: I know myself. I know the kind of mother I wanted to be, and I knew the things that needed to be in place for me to show up as that version of myself. That’s also the same answer I give when people ask why we’re not “trying for baby number two yet”💀. I know I’m not someone who would thrive with two children under two, and I refuse to put myself in a situation where I’m constantly overwhelmed just because it’s what everyone else is doing.
I wish more women talked about this. Preparing for parenthood is just as important as becoming a parent.
If you’re in your 20s and don’t have children yet, don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re “behind.” You’re not waiting. You’re preparing.
Build your education. Build your career. Build your finances. Build your confidence. Build your friendships. Travel. Go to therapy. Learn how to communicate. Figure out who you are outside of a relationship. Discover what kind of life you want to create.
Don’t wait for a partner to give you those things, and don’t feel pressured into motherhood because everyone around you is doing it.
When the time comes, you’ll be bringing a child into a life you’ve intentionally built, not scrambling to figure out who you are while trying to raise someone else.
And if you’re already ready? emotionally, financially, mentally, or however you define readiness that’s beautiful too. There isn’t one right timeline. The point is that it should be your timeline, not society’s.
Parents: How old were you when you had your first child? If you could do it over again, would you change anything? If you don’t have kids yet but hope to one day, what are you intentionally building or working on before that chapter? I’d genuinely love to hear your answers.
Deciding when to have a child is one of the most personal choices a person can make, and from my own experience, waiting until I felt truly ready brought immense peace and stability to my journey into motherhood. Many young women face societal and familial pressure to become parents early, often resulting in feeling 'behind' if they wait. However, this pressure ignores the importance of personal growth and preparation before stepping into parenthood. In my 20s, I focused on establishing a solid foundation — advancing my career, managing my finances, investing in my mental health through therapy, and strengthening friendships and communication skills. This wasn't just about ticking boxes; it was about building a fulfilling life that I wanted to share with my future child. Rather than rushing into motherhood due to external expectations, I valued understanding who I was outside of relationships, which made me more confident and prepared. Waiting until 29 to have my daughter allowed me to enter motherhood with clarity and readiness. I knew the kind of mother I wanted to be and had arranged my life to support that vision. For example, I recognized early that having two children under two years old wouldn't suit my wellbeing, so I set a pace that felt right for me. Financial planning also played a critical role. Parenting comes with many expenses — from healthcare and childcare to extracurricular activities and educational opportunities. Having a stable financial footing eased the stress commonly associated with unexpected costs. Moreover, my personal healing and self-awareness helped break cycles from my own childhood experiences, allowing me to be present rather than overwhelmed. For anyone in their 20s hesitant about when to start their parenting journey: you’re not delaying — you’re preparing. Travel, therapy, and friendships create a rich life perspective that deeply benefits your future family environment. And if you’re already parenting, reflecting on your timeline might inspire you to prioritize your wellbeing and that of your child. Ultimately, there’s no single 'right' timeline for becoming a parent. Prioritizing your emotional, mental, and financial readiness crafts a healthier and more intentional family life. Society’s clock doesn’t have to dictate your milestones; your timeline is what truly matters.
