Frozen in time while navigating grief 🖤
Today her energy was loud… the kind of loud you feel before you even open your eyes. Momma misses you every second, baby girl.
This weekend, I finally checked PBR off my bucket list — and if you know us, you know we’re country at heart with that soul + urban edge that’s just who we are. And everywhere I looked… I saw her. Young ladies who moved like her, carried themselves like her. Then, right in front of us, a group of young ladies signed the national anthem. My child loves ASL, and in that moment, it felt like a message straight from her spirit: “Mom, I’m okay. I’m right here. Enjoy this.”
This whole trip was a Christmas gift from my partner’s mom. And with my, patient, loving partner beside me, I actually let myself breathe… and feel… and even enjoy it. Ma Tekin made this beautiful custom hat too — and I know my baby would’ve had her own, or just taken mine like always. So I brought it to her bench, where her presence always hits the deepest.
This is the epitome of riding the wave of child‑loss grief — the ache and the beauty, the breaking and the rising. And this weekend… I rode the wave while watching those riders hold on to those bulls with everything they had.
Thank you, Mama Angie for this gift. I showed up. I felt her. And I rode the wave.
Losing a child is an unimaginable pain that reshapes your world completely. From my own experience, I’ve found that grief isn’t a linear journey—it’s more like riding relentless waves, sometimes crashing you down, other times lifting you up gently. What resonates deeply is the importance of allowing yourself to feel every emotion without judgment. Whether it’s anger, sadness, or small moments of joy, embracing these feelings is part of healing. During times when the loss feels overwhelming, finding rituals or symbolic moments can be incredibly grounding. For example, visiting places that remind you of your loved one or wearing something that connects you to their memory provides comfort. In the story above, the custom hat and moments at the bench act as physical anchors for remembrance and love. Spiritual signs can also bring solace. Many who have experienced loss report moments where they sense their child’s presence in subtle ways—whether through nature, music, or even sign language, as mentioned here. These signs remind us that their spirit endures and offers peace. It’s also vital to lean on your support system. Having a loving, patient partner or family member who encourages you to breathe and feel your emotions without rush is a gift in itself. Grieving together can strengthen bonds and make the heavy journey more bearable. Finally, involving yourself in activities that resonate with your loved one’s passions, like attending a PBR event to honor a country heart and soul, can bring healing. It reminds us that while they are gone physically, their essence and the values they cherished continue to inspire us daily. Embracing vulnerability, sharing your story, and riding the waves of grief with openness can transform pain into a path toward renewal and connection.
Thanks for following 💝