Are you constantly fighting with your significant?

I been with the love of my life almost 10 years and people ask how I do it? How we do it? And to me, it’s communication. If you don’t have communication, what kind of relationship are you in, if you can’t communicate with your partner?

Every time conflict arises with us, I always think, is it gunna matter in 5 minutes? If the answer is no, I don’t blow my lid or scream and yell. It’s all about picking and choosing your battles. Every week we sit down and we hash out problems that we had this week and communicate effectively with one another without the screaming and yelling. Because let’s face it, marriages are hard. Don’t let anyone tell you that being married to someone is a walk in the park and that it’s easy. Because me telling you from almost being married to the love of my life for almost 10 years, it is not it is all about trials and tribulations.

When you’re thinking about getting serious with someone you want to think about what am I going to bring to the table, what are they going to bring to the table, and also what can we both bring to the table as a partnership. Being married to somebody is both of you given 100% each it’s not 50-50. It’s 100% from both of you.

If you ever find yourself being in a long-term relationship and you come to the point where you’re constantly fighting and arguing with one another, take a step back take a deep breath and just listen. That is a lot harder to do than to sit here or I could take a step back and think about this. It’s hard harder to actually physically do it because sometimes in the heat of the moment you will feel you can’t do that. You guys may be arguing because you’re not listening to one another. Everybody wants to always try to get the last word in, but the smartest person in the relationship is the one who takes a step back and actually listens to what the problem may be and figure out how to communicate with the other person. You will be surprised the times you argue with your significant other is a pointless fight because you could both be fighting for the same thing, but you don’t realize it because you don’t hear it.

So the next time you’re in a conflict with your significant other, fine time to sit down between the both of you and remember these points:

1. What do you love about him?

2. What do you hate about him?

Follow up to number 2: is it something he can work on?

3 what do you love about yourself?

4. What do you hate about yourself?

Follow up to number 4: is it something you can work on?

5. What is the one thing in your marriage you are proud of?

6. What is the main problem in your marriage you want to work on?

7. What are your family goals?

8. What are your goals?

9. What are his goals?

10. Where do you want to see your relationship in 1,3,5 and 10 years from now?

11. What is your love language?

12. What is his love language?

13. Are you willing to dedicate time to just him a few times a week?

14. Is he willing to dedicate time to just you a few times a week?

15. What are you willing to sacrifice?

16? What do you think he is willing to sacrifice?

Now will these apply to every single relationship out there, probably not, but it may apply to 50% of relationships that are currently happening right now.

#longrelationship #couplescontent #embracevulnerability #unfiltered #shareyourthoughts