My son Patrick, Packy, was a beautiful baby, but from a young age we noticed he was a little “different.” It never crossed our minds that it could be a mental illness. It wasn’t until he started talking to himself that we began to look into it. Even then, we didn’t really understand what was happening until he started getting into serious trouble and trying to cope on his own. He eventually went to jail, where he was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. They also said he had a dual diagnosis, meaning he was using street drugs to deal with what he was feeling.
For years, it started with smoking marijuana, then moved to stronger drugs like speed, heroin, and pills. Later, he began using fentanyl, and now he is gone. He passed away on February 15, 2023. I went to pick him up for church that day and found him lying on the floor. The coroner said he had been gone for about 12 hours.
I wish so much that I had known more about mental illness back then. Maybe I would have noticed the signs earlier and helped him get treatment sooner. But how many parents really think about that or know what to look for?
Please pay attention to the signs. They can be different for everyone, but things like acting out at school, getting into fights, not listening to teachers, or becoming withdrawn from other kids can be warning signs. Then there may be signs like starting to use drugs or alcohol. I truly believe that if my son had started proper treatment earlier, he might not have tried to self-medicate, because he knew something was wrong in his mind that he couldn’t control.
He was a smart and amazing person. There wasn’t anything he couldn’t do. He had a kind heart and just wanted to be loved. But his illness often led him to make choices that got him into trouble.
My heart breaks for him every single day. I cry for him, and I miss him deeply. I hold on to the hope that I will see him again in heaven one day.
Love, Packy’s mom forever 32.
Stay safe out there and don’t forget to talk to those around you.
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Mental illness, especially conditions like schizoaffective disorder, often goes unnoticed or misunderstood in its early stages. From my own experience and what I’ve learned, recognizing warning signs early can significantly alter the course of someone’s life. Behavioral changes such as withdrawal from friends and family, unusual speech patterns like talking to oneself, and sudden mood swings can be important indicators that someone is struggling. Parents and caregivers should pay close attention to any changes in their child's behavior, particularly if they start acting out at school, showing disinterest in social activities, or exhibiting aggressive behavior. These red flags might suggest underlying mental health issues. Unfortunately, stigma and lack of awareness often delay seeking help. It's also critical to understand how some individuals may turn to substances like marijuana, heroin, or fentanyl as a way of self-medicating their mental distress. Dual diagnosis—when someone has both a mental health disorder and substance abuse problems—is complex and requires integrated treatment. In my journey, I realized that early intervention, including counseling, psychiatric evaluation, and supportive therapy, could have made a profound difference. Engaging with mental health professionals sooner and maintaining open communication within the family can provide the necessary support to those suffering. I urge anyone who suspects that a loved one might be showing signs of mental health struggles not to ignore it or delay seeking professional help. Education about symptoms and available treatments is crucial. Remember, mental illness is not a character flaw or weakness — it is a medical condition that needs care and compassion. Lastly, connection and conversation are powerful tools. Talking openly about mental health risks and drug use can break down barriers and encourage people to seek the help they need before reaching a crisis point. Sharing stories like this can raise awareness and offer hope that early attention can save lives.