stop obsessing over your ex

2024/5/24 Edited to

... Read moreAfter my last breakup, I felt like I was stuck in a loop, constantly replaying memories and wondering 'what if.' It was exhausting, and I couldn't seem to shake the feeling of obsession over my ex. If you're searching for ways to stop obsessing over someone, know that you're not alone, and it's a completely normal part of grieving a lost relationship. But you don't have to stay there. I discovered some strategies that genuinely helped me regain my peace and start moving forward. One of the biggest breakthroughs for me was learning to FOCUS ON THE PRESENT MOMENT. When your mind constantly drifts back to your ex or past events, it's a sign you're ruminating. To combat this, I started actively redirecting my thoughts. Instead of just thinking about focusing, I did things that demanded my full attention. For me, that meant getting back into my yoga practice, really feeling each stretch and breath. It could be anything for you – a new hobby, learning a language, or even just a brisk walk where you pay attention to every sight and sound. When I felt an obsessive thought creeping in, I'd gently acknowledge it and then consciously bring my attention back to what I was doing right then. It takes practice, but it builds a new mental muscle. Another powerful tool in my arsenal was learning to CHALLENGE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. Initially, my mind was a messy place filled with 'I wasn't good enough,' or 'They were perfect, I messed up.' These thoughts fed the obsession. I started asking myself: Is this thought 100% true? Am I looking at this situation objectively? What's another way to see this? For example, instead of thinking, 'I'll never find anyone like them,' I'd reframe it to, 'This relationship taught me what I value, and I'm growing into someone ready for an even better connection.' It's about recognizing that your thoughts aren't always facts and that you have the power to change your internal narrative. This helped me stop obsessing over an ex by shifting the focus from 'what I lost' to 'what I learned' and 'what I'm gaining.' This one was the hardest but arguably the most crucial for me: to GO NO CONTACT. I realized that every time I checked their social media, or even thought about texting them, it was like picking at a wound. It prevented me from healing. For me, going no contact meant muting them everywhere, unfollowing mutual friends for a while, and consciously avoiding places we used to frequent. It's not about being angry or erasing them; it's about giving yourself the space and time to heal without constant reminders. It allows you to break the cycle of rumination and truly focus on yourself. It felt drastic at first, but the relief and clarity that followed were immense. It truly helped me stop ruminating about an ex and reclaim my emotional energy. Breaking free from obsessing over an ex is a journey, not a destination. There will be good days and bad days. Remember to be kind to yourself through the process. Your worth isn't tied to any relationship, and you have the strength within you to move forward. If you find yourself truly struggling, don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or a professional for support. You've got this.

11 comments

Lemon8er's images
Lemon8er

Is it weird that people assume because I’m 14 that he didn’t matter and that it was “just a breakup” that it makes me mad

Related posts

Stop obsessing over your ex, lovely
What worked for me: it was not time (though time does help a little)💜 it was not staying busy it was not unfollowing him (though I did that too) it was crying when I needed to, grieving, getting to know myself even when I desired company, building my self worth and shifting my identity that
Latenightreset

Latenightreset

7 likes

One book that’s changed your perspective on life?
Okay I’m going to be honest here….. All of the things Mel talks about in her book are all things I have been doing and implementing wayyyyyy before she wrote about it. In fact, some of these things are legit words out of my mouth way before she came out with this book. But I guess because she’s
Bexx

Bexx

240 likes

A top-down view of a person's feet in white sneakers standing on a gym floor next to a barbell with a pink pad. The image has text overlayed: "Just 3" Rule for WEIGHT LOSS, with sparkling effects.
A white background with black text titled "Just Three More..." and a yellow cartoon character looking exhausted. The text explains Rule 1: doing three more reps past perceived failure to achieve muscle growth and strength.
A white background with black text titled "Simplified Meals" and a yellow cartoon character with a thought bubble. The text explains Rule 2: using just three ingredients per meal for balanced, simple, and consistent nutrition.
Change your Body 🍑 & Mindset 🧠 with just 3 Rules✨
Let me be so real with you: getting in shape as a full-time college student is HARD. Between classes, work, trying to have a social life, AND attempting to not lose your mind… fitness can feel like just one more thing on the to-do list. But you don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. I st
Chalie_Baker

Chalie_Baker

6399 likes

3 Psychology Hacks to stop obsessing and let go. 🧘‍♀️
Psychology Series: Part 7 🕯️ (The finale of the week!) Checking their last seen? Overthinking that text? 📱 Stop. You are leaking your power. Obsession is not love. It is Anxiety disguised as passion. When you chase, you are in "Lack". When you detach, you are in "Power". Here i
Emily | Mindset & Growth

Emily | Mindset & Growth

88 likes

Most people try to get over their ex by staying busy, deleting photos, or going no contact. But that’s not why you’re still stuck. You’re stuck because you’re applying the wrong solution to the stage of heartbreak you’re in. Here’s what actually works: 1️⃣ Figure out what stage of heart
Erica | Relationship Coach RRT

Erica | Relationship Coach RRT

0 likes

Overthinking 101
Overthinking is a huge part of anxiety , dwelling on and obsessing over our own thoughts . Here’s a few steps I use on the day to day basis to try to help and allow myself to overcome this which is extremely hard. #overthinkingtips #overthinkingguide
Starr Jones

Starr Jones

151 likes

Stop Starting Over: Simple Tips to Build a Habit🫶
If you’re reading this, you’re probably ready to make the gym a part of your life—and not just for a couple of weeks, but for the long haul. I get it; staying consistent can feel impossible sometimes. But the good news is that consistency isn’t about willpower; it’s about understanding how human be
Chalie_Baker

Chalie_Baker

88 likes

𝐃𝐄𝐓𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐄 🦋
This might be triggering, but it’s a conversation we need to have. Too many women are still struggling with detachment, holding on to men, situations, and patterns that rob them of peace. This is a post to remind women of a truth: men are naturally wired to put themselves first. Understanding th
𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐘𝐀.

𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐀𝐘𝐀.

110 likes

Want To Quit Obsessing Over Your Ex 💔😭? Watch This
Closure doesn’t come from them… it comes from you. Let go of the signs. Unfollow. Delete. Move forward. Peace isn’t something you wait for, It’s something you create. Start showing up for yourself. Rebuild, one small step at a time. The version of you that you’re dreaming of? It’s clos
iamchrisgoode

iamchrisgoode

4 likes

Summer Lookbook: 5 Vacation Outfits I’m Obsessing Over ☀️🌴
Summer is officially in full swing, and my wardrobe is strictly rotating around these 5 aesthetic looks. Which vibe are you picking? 🏝️👇 🤍 Look 1: Textured Coastal Luxury The Vibe: Total "Rich Mom" beach aesthetic. Clean, crisp, and sophisticated. Details: An all-white, crinkle-textu
lilly

lilly

390 likes

You have fans obsessing over you
Join the Awakened Royalty Discord: https://discord.gg/6Ha7xyPnV #tarotreader #awakenedroyalty
Forbidden Secrets

Forbidden Secrets

27 likes

4 Aesthetic Summer Sets I’m Obsessing Over ☀️✨
Summer is officially here, and my current personality is just wearing matching two-piece sets. 🌊 I wanted to share a few super cute, effortless outfits I picked up for beach days, lounging, and casual hangs! sun. 👟 Look 1: Brooklyn Sporty Details: A 3-piece set featuring a white "Brooklyn
lilly

lilly

119 likes

You got fans obsessing over you
#awakenedroyalty #tarotreader
Forbidden Secrets

Forbidden Secrets

24 likes

A vintage bronze key rests on a glittery pink book, surrounded by heart confetti, with the title "HOW TO MANIFEST YOUR DREAM LOVE LIFE step by step guide!" and "Lushie CLUB" branding.
The image displays the text "KNOW WHAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT" and advice about attracting inconsistent people if one is vague, set against a blurred pink glittery book background.
The image features the text "BECOME THE TYPE OF PERSON YOU WANT TO ATTRACT" and advice on matching one's energy to desired relationships, over a blurred pink glittery book.
MANIFEST YOUR DREAM LOVE LIFE WITH THESE STEPS 💖:
Alright besties, let’s cut to the chase—we’re NOT playing in 2025. We are NOT about to be out here crying over people who can’t even spell "emotional intelligence." We’re done with the “situationships,” the mixed signals, and the ones who “aren’t ready for a relationship” but still want all
Lushie Club 💖

Lushie Club 💖

109 likes

If Your Struggling With Stay Consistent I gotchu
Staying consistent is far from easy—and I’d be lying if I said motivation alone is enough to get you there. That’s exactly why I created something to support men and women who are content creators and struggling to stay on track. Introducing The Consistency Plan—a guide designed to help you get al
It’sKayy

It’sKayy

1 like

If you’re obsessing over someone
#confidence #confidencetips #selflove #girladvice #confidentgirls
Kailey Anna

Kailey Anna

642 likes

The 5 W's in life that Elevates your relationship.
The Five W’s Of Life: A Compass for the Soul Living with intention means transforming the basic questions of existence into a roadmap for a more fulfilled and radiant life. Here is a deeper look into the heart of each "W," designed to uplift your spirit and empower your journey. Who
Relationship Coach & Therapist

Relationship Coach & Therapist

10 likes

🛑STOP CHASING A RELATIONSHIP DO THIS INSTEAD…⬇️
Valentine’s Day used to make me feel behind. Like love was happening for everyone else… but me. But this season taught me something different. Singleness isn’t a waiting room. It’s a walking season. And instead of chasing a wedding, I started pursuing the Lord. Instead of obsessing o
MOVESWITASH 🦋

MOVESWITASH 🦋

6 likes

You have people obsessing over you
Join the Awakened Royalty Discord: https://discord.gg/2Dun6PCT4 #tarotreader #awakenedroyalty
Forbidden Secrets

Forbidden Secrets

25 likes

Stop chasing “perfect posture”… it doesn’t exist.
If you’ve been trying to “fix” your posture, you might be solving the wrong problem. As a movement coach (and PT), I get this question all the time: “What’s the best posture?” 👉 The truth: there isn’t one. What actually matters is how often you move. Most people sit, stand, or repeat t
Gabe PT DPT | Movement Coach

Gabe PT DPT | Movement Coach

7 likes

5 Proven Ways to Calm Your Nervous System
Nervous system regulation is key to effortless manifestation. Regulating your nervous system helps to reduce anxiety, stress, insomnia and burnout. This also helps us to stop ruminating or obsessing, which can often slow us down on our manifestation journey. . . . . . #loa #lawofassumptio
Manifest Girly ✨

Manifest Girly ✨

151 likes

You have fans obsessing over you
#awakenedroyalty #tarotreader
Forbidden Secrets

Forbidden Secrets

2 likes

A close-up shot of a chessboard with several chess pawns. A white note card on the board reads, "your next move matters more than your last mistake." The image emphasizes strategic thinking and resilience, aligning with the article's theme of life as a chess game.
Make Your Next Move Your Best Move♟️🔑ℹ️👇
Your downfall ain’t your definition—it’s just a plot twist in a story that still unfolds. Chessboards don’t cry over spilled pawns. They wait in silence to see if the player’s got the vision to flip the whole tempo. One wrong move don’t cancel the mission—it sharpens the precision. The piece you sa
RoadToRiches

RoadToRiches

19 likes

Obsessing over y2k frenchies coming back🤩 it’s giv
#y2knailinspo #y2knailsstyle #frenshnails #nailinspo
Kaybabyy

Kaybabyy

1037 likes

The Comparison Trap is a Resource Drain = “mind your own business”
Envy is a luxury you can't afford. It costs too much focus. Stop looking at their scoreboard. Comparison is the fastest way to leak power. When you’re busy obsessing over what someone else built, bought, or achieved, you’re literally funding their momentum with your mental energy. In a w
HelKat

HelKat

5 likes

Progress Over Perfection 💕✨
I stopped obsessing over the number on the scale and started focusing on building a healthier lifestyle. 🌸 Real fat loss takes patience, discipline, consistency, and grace. Some days are harder than others, but every healthy choice matters. 💕 This journey taught me that quick fixes don’t last
Chrissy Donald

Chrissy Donald

23 likes

A black and white portrait of a woman with long dark hair, wearing a light-colored long-sleeved top. She has a thoughtful expression, and a small cross tattoo is visible on her wrist, along with bracelets. The image has a slight pink tint on her cheeks and lips.
“Your Mind Shapes Your Wellness—Think Healthy✨🌸🤍
🧠 The Psychology of Wellness: How Your Mind Shapes Your Health ✨ Wellness isn’t just about food, fitness, or skincare—it begins in the mind. Your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs have a powerful impact on your physical health. Here’s how psychology plays a role in your overall well-being: 💭 Mi
🌙Luna _FTZ 💕ⵣ

🌙Luna _FTZ 💕ⵣ

2 likes

A hand holds a red and gold perfume bottle labeled 'Bade'e Al Oud Sublime'. The bottle features intricate patterns and Arabic script, with text overlay indicating it's a sweet fruity fragrance. The bottom left corner shows 'lemon8 @shakeya_97'.
My Co-Workers were obsessing over this perfume!
I love how fruity and sweet this perfume is. When I looked at the notes, I was really surprised because I don’t get any rose, moss or patchouli (which I love) ! I think it’s a safe blind buy. Also I’ve heard is a great cheaper alternative to Kayali’s Eden Juicy Apple 🫶🏽 #perfumes #perfumelover
Shakeya Murphy

Shakeya Murphy

269 likes

I can’t stop obsessing over these fits
Walmart leaving no crumbs. My friends are telling me that they are struggling to find sizes in their local stores because they are selling so quick. Run and get you some. If you’d rather shop online I’ll post link in comments. #walmartfashion #walmartfashionfind #activewear #activewearona
Maya Z

Maya Z

449 likes

You have people obsessing over you
#awakenedroyalty #tarotreader
Forbidden Secrets

Forbidden Secrets

11 likes

The title '7 ways to get your brain to accept that something is over' is displayed in white text over a tranquil beach scene with gentle waves and a pastel pink and blue sky.
The first tip, 'Stop Romanticizing What's Gone,' is presented with supporting text on a beach background featuring a vibrant, cloudy sky and ocean waves.
The second tip, 'Feel the Grief, Don't Avoid It,' is shown with detailed advice on a beach background featuring a colorful sky and ocean waves.
7 Ways To Get Your Brain To Accept That It’s Over
Getting your brain to truly accept that something is over—whether it’s a relationship, job, friendship, phase of life, or even a dream—can be hard. It’s not just about knowing it intellectually, it’s about helping your heart and mind catch up emotionally. Here’s how you can work toward that kind of
MsJakerria

MsJakerria

17 likes

Books I can’t stop thinking about
What are the books you can’t stop obsessing over? I want all the book recs for 2025! #booktok #bookrecommendations #books #romantasy #fantasyromance
Destinee 🦋📚

Destinee 🦋📚

14 likes

💫 Speak Life Over Yourself! 💫
The way you talk to yourself shapes your reality. Instead of rushing to change my body, I’m rushing to build discipline. Instead of obsessing over food, I’m learning self-control through faith. Instead of forcing myself to show up at the gym, I’m focusing on consistency in every aspect of my life.
candace.lane.official

candace.lane.official

13 likes

Stop Chasing Closure: The Truth About Moving On
Why closure is a myth and how obsessing over an ex keeps you stuck. My friend went from texting her ex daily to deleting his number and blocking him on social media. By setting boundaries and saying no to settling, she transformed her life in just six weeks, landing a new job, gaining confidence, a
Self-Respect First

Self-Respect First

0 likes

The ’Flaw‘ You Hate is Your Secret Weapon 🤫🤎
Let’s have a late-night real talk, babe. How many times have you stood in front of the mirror, pulling your skin back, obsessing over that one feature you absolutely hate? Maybe it's your nose, your jawline, or the way your eyes are shaped. I used to cry over my "flaws," aggressively co
Effortless Poses

Effortless Poses

13 likes

Just obsessing over how this turned out😍
Do you have a favorite crochet project? What’s your WIP this week? #crocheting #babyblanket #crochetwip #crochetcommunity #crochetproject
BaileyBurnham

BaileyBurnham

26 likes

A yellow billboard against a clear blue sky displays the motivational message: "STOP IMAGINING FAKE SCENARIOS AND HURTING YOUR OWN FEELINGS." Below the main text, it reads "MOTIVATIONDIRECTOR". The Lemon8 logo and username "@rickthefactor" are in the bottom left corner.
Stop Creating Painful Scenarios in Your Mind 🔑ℹ️⬇️
We often let our imaginations conjure up scenarios that never happen, causing unnecessary stress and heartache. By focusing on hypothetical problems or conflicts, we’re hurting ourselves with what-ifs and maybes that exist only in our minds. This mental habit not only robs us of peace but also clou
RoadToRiches

RoadToRiches

6 likes

Obsessing so hard! 😍
#creatorsearchinsights #coachlife #purse #obsessed #sketchers
Michelles.Miniverse

Michelles.Miniverse

89 likes

A collage of butter yellow fashion items, including a ribbed top, pointed heels, a baseball cap, wide-leg pants, and sneakers, all displayed against a light background under the 'Currently Obsessing: BUTTER YELLOW' heading.
A collection of butter yellow apparel and accessories, featuring a tie-front knit top, a tote bag, athletic sneakers, a ribbed tank, and a cable knit vest, presented under the 'Currently Obsessing: BUTTER YELLOW' theme.
An assortment of butter yellow fashion pieces, including a large tote bag, a sleeveless button-up top, sneakers, and a half-zip sweatshirt, showcased against a light background with a 'Currently Obsessing: BUTTER YELLOW' title.
Currently obsessing 🍯🧈🍦💭
What's Trending? 🚨 Trend: butter yellow 🧈🍦 📝Description: the soft yellow that we loved since spring is here to stay for fall 🍁🍯 Statement Pieces: keep it in your wardrobe in tote bags, sneakers, & sweaters Brand: keep an eye out in Lacoste, mango, & Abercrombie
Honeyed

Honeyed

509 likes

You have celebrities obsessing over you
#awakenedroyalty #tarotreader
Forbidden Secrets

Forbidden Secrets

21 likes

You have celebrities obsessing over you
Join the Awakened Royalty Discord: https://discord.gg/6Ha7xyPnV #tarotreader #awakenedroyalty
Forbidden Secrets

Forbidden Secrets

7 likes

Obsessing
InJoyment 💕

InJoyment 💕

293 likes

See more