And i cried many times before/after it
I cried several times before finally deciding to call it quits with my full time job.
A little late to this update, but it’s been a full month since I left my full time job.
When my ex colleagues and friends asked what I would be doing after leaving, I joked that I would finally “sleep 8 hours a day”.
But in the first week, my heart was filled with anxiety and a bit (okay, a BIG bit) of fear. I could barely sleep. I kept wondering if I was acting like a wilful child, walking away from a role that was, by most standards, decent. Decent pay, decent stability.
I have always told my friends that I was really lucky to land that role, with good bosses and a team with zero politics.
But deep down, I knew it wasn’t serving me well mentally, nor was it taking my career where I wanted it to go. At one point, I could not get through a week without asking for extra wfh days or taking half a day off.
I remember telling my boss these exact words, “I lost the spark. I don’t know how to drive these projects if I don’t believe in them myself.”
I have always been a rather goal oriented person. I squeeze my brain dry to come up with plan B or plan C, and if there isn’t one, I will push to drill plan A right into place. So having to give up because I could not achieve it made me feel like an absolute failure. I really did not know how to process that feeling.
All of this also came at a point when my small business was struggling to scale, simply because I did not have the time or the mental headspace for it.
It felt extremely soul sucking to feel so under fulfilled in my full time job, one that I was once really proud of 😭, while my passion project, my craft studio, was constantly limited by my capacity while working full time.
Thankfully, I have the loveliest participants joining my workshops 🥹 Very often we end up chatting like long time friends. And when I shared that I had faint thoughts of taking a leap of faith to run my craft studio full time, I received many encouraging words with the most earnest eyes “Yes, you should.” “I’m so excited for you.”
AIYOOOO yall so sweeeeeet 🥹🥹🥹🥹
Fast forward a couple of months later, this little dream has slowly wriggled its way into reality.
Yes, I am now fun employed. Having fun being a LBN while figuring out the next moves, making big boss decisions for my little business, and submitting proposals without having to seek clearance from anyone. HAHAHAHAA it’s 10% nerve wrecking, but 90% rejuvenating change after being a corporate slave for 7 years.
For now, minimum grab rides and bbt until life settles into a better stability.
My heart is nervous, but it is full ❤️
Deciding to leave a full-time job, especially one that offers stability and decent pay, is never easy. From my own experience and from countless conversations with others who have taken similar leaps, the initial weeks often present a mix of anxiety and excitement. The fear of the unknown creeps in—questions like "Am I making the right choice?" or "What if I regret this?" frequently surface, leading to restless nights and self-doubt. However, the act of stepping away from a conventional 9-to-5 role can also unlock unexpected personal growth. The freedom to prioritize passion projects and create your own schedule often reignites the motivation and creativity that may have been stifled in corporate settings. For small business owners, like those running craft studios or creative workshops, this transition allows for deeper connection with clients and a sense of genuine fulfillment. It's important to recognize that this journey requires patience and resilience. Building a stable income through entrepreneurship takes time, especially when starting from a point of limited resources and mental fatigue from previous career struggles. Maintaining a support network—be it friends, workshop participants, or fellow small business owners—is invaluable. Their encouragement not only boosts confidence but can offer practical advice and opportunities. Managing finances carefully during this time is crucial. Opting for budget-friendly options, like minimal transportation expenses or simple daily treats, can ease the financial pressure and reduce stress. Embracing a mindset of being "fun employed" can shift focus from stress to the joy of making big decisions independently and setting new career goals. Overall, leaving a full-time job to pursue a small business demands courage but can lead to a heart full of purpose and satisfaction. Each step, from the tears before quitting to the small victories of fun employment, shapes a unique path toward personal and professional fulfillment.
I've been corrected before that LBN meant wife of boss