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Lessons learned… part 1

I never wanted to feel like I was ever loving someone more than they were loving me. It needed to be mutual. From my dating experience, I had realized… i was the one loving more than they were. It sucked because I couldn’t understand why that was. It’s not that I had lacked self love. It’s because thats who I was. I was a genuine person that loved love. The guys that I have dated only knew about love… making.

It wasn’t about just hitting the g-spot until I climax. It was more so as could you stimulate my mind mentally in a way that would pull me in?

The answer was no. You never forget how good someone treats you. You never forget how badly someone treated you either. I never forgot both, honestly.

The story (HELD HOSTAGE AT HIS HOUSE) is a true story. I was dating a guy who freshly came from Jamaica 🇯🇲 & was attracted to me. At first i wasnt attracted to him either. For some odd reason, I decided to give him a chance… and did. I thought to myself “why not”? BIGGEST MISTAKE ever made. We fell off. He literally held me hostage at his house because he didn’t want me to leave. I couldn’t believe it. It felt like a LIFETIME movie that i was in. That day, I literally almost lost my life dealing with a Mod man- it didn’t make sense. I couldn’t grasp the concept either. I had nightmares and couldn’t fathom why.

The previous one before that reached out to his ex and his ex mysteriously found my instagram and told me “he wasn’t worth it”. But for some weird reason, I stayed around. That wasn’t like me. I felt as if spiritual work was being done to keep me around him. It didn’t make sense. I felt betrayed because it was like this whole time, this is what you were doing? I also went against myself and should’ve left him alone when I did. Nothing made sense.

The only relationship that made me feel secure was the first one. The very first one. I couldn’t understand it yet i self sabotaged the one that comforted me. That made me feel safe. That made me feel like I could put my guard down. Out of some of the interactions, I had with men, that one stuck out most. 💯 the breakup did hurt, but I didn’t mourn it the way I should’ve. I let it go and moved on quickly. We hurt differently. I was hurt yet I moved on. I moved on to an asshole. I moved onto karma & that lady had no mercy for me. I couldn’t believe or understand it. After dealing with that, I realized…. Karma didnt hold back. She went full force.

This lesson learned book will teach you so much about love and the lessons behind it.

#lessonslearned #lovestories #lessonslearnedinmy20s #apowellbooks #goodreads

2025/10/10 Edited to

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