why i don’t care about birthdays like i used to
hey zesties! 🍋
i celebrated my birthday last month, and it made me think about how different things feel now compared to before
looking back, it’s funny how growing up slowly changes what birthdays meant to me. like i wasn’t just someone who enjoyed birthdays, in fact, i took them very seriously. and people around me knew about it too
and i think the reason why i felt birthdays were the most important days when growing up was because i was lucky to have a mum who made my birthdays feel magical throughout the years. i still remember in primary 3, she surprised me by showing up with a huge bag of goodie bags for my entire class. she passed them to my teacher, and i got to walk around the classroom distributing them while my classmates sang me a birthday song. she even got me a cake, and we celebrated in the school canteen. i felt so special that day ☺️
in secondary school, while i wasn’t exactly the popular kid, but i looked forward to the well wishes. whether they were from my close friends, classmates i barely talked to, teachers and cca mates, etc. i just loved the feeling of being remembered, even if it was just for a day
then came poly, and for my 18th birthday, my family invited a few of my close poly friends to celebrate with us at a hotel buffet. afterwards, my stepmum surprised me with a pair of gucci shoes, marking my very first designer item 🥹 and just when i thought the surprises were over, my dad pulled out a video… of the one and only kpop group KARD, wishing me happy birthday. like ??? actually what the heck 😭😭🙏🏻
and of course, my 21st. the official celebration of becoming an adult. i had a lovely dinner at a private japanese restaurant, then headed to hotel m for the real celebration. that night was the first time all my friends, from different parts of my life, came together for me. secondary school bestie, work friends, mutuals, even some of my sister’s friends. all in one tiny room. and i felt so so so loved 🫶🏻
but for last year's and even this year’s… i celebrated my birthday quietly. no parties. no social media spamming. just a simple dinner with my girlies, and another celebration with my sister and boyfriend. that was it 😌
i thought about it and asked myself what caused the change? honestly, i just didn’t feel like i needed a big celebration. not because i wasn’t happy, but i guess it's because i didn’t need the validation anymore. because i realised it doesn't take big celebrations and many presents to make me feel loved. those can't compare to the joy of just being with the ones who truly care about me
i guess what used to excite me, the attention, the hype, all these no longer felt necessary. now, i find peace in the quiet, comfort in knowing i don’t need to be celebrated loudly to feel loved ❤️
hope you enjoyed this read! lmk if you prefer to celebrate your birthday lowkey or highkey? 💬
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As someone who once eagerly anticipated grand birthday celebrations, I’ve come to appreciate the value of a lowkey approach. Quiet birthday celebrations can offer a refreshing break from the pressure of social expectations and the need for public validation. Instead of focusing on parties, gifts, or social media posts, spending quality time with close friends or family creates meaningful memories that truly matter. For example, my recent birthdays have been marked by simple dinners with my sister, boyfriend, or close friends. These intimate moments often provide more comfort than any loud or elaborate event. It’s a chance to connect honestly without distractions and to feel genuinely appreciated without the noise. If you’re feeling indifferent toward birthdays too, you’re not alone. Many people find that as they grow older, they crave authenticity rather than extravagance. This might mean skipping the traditional celebrations and focusing on small rituals that bring you peace, like a favorite meal, a quiet walk, or a heartfelt conversation. Ultimately, celebrating birthdays quietly doesn’t mean you care less. Instead, it’s about recognizing what really brings happiness—being surrounded by people who love you, even if it’s just in a calm setting. So whether you prefer a big birthday bash or a lowkey gathering, what matters most is how you feel loved and valued on your special day.
I prefer low key celebration. only had a super grand one at 40 years old.