Saying goodbyes as an adult 🤍
Recently, I had to deal with two significant departures:
(1) Leaving my job — a company I spent many years with, a team I enjoyed, and a role I genuinely loved.
(2) Losing a friend — suddenly, in a horrific way. She was one of the kindest humans I’ve ever met. Losing her was a great loss.
It’s not my first time dealing with departures.
I’ve left jobs before.
I’ve lost people before (wrote a post about it)
But going through both in close succession this time… it felt different.
It felt deeper.
It felt raw.
It felt weird.
What’s particularly strange was how life just keeps going.
The company continued running, my team carried on, things moved as usual.
Me being gone was a shocker, but not a changer.
My friend’s family, on the other hand, now faces a hole that can never be filled.
Grief slowly becomes part of their “new normal.”
Life still continues, but differently.
Eventually, scars remain, memories fade, new realities form.
Those who’ve left become history.
Gone, but not forgotten.
And for the living?
Maybe what we can do is to make a part of them live through us:
The lessons, the values, the kindness, the courage.
Because memories fade.
But if we internalize them, live them out, act them out,
they become part of who we are.
Be kind.
Be strong.
Be good.
Be amazing.
Be a bit like the person you lost, especially the best parts of them.
Would the departed be comforted by that? I don’t know.
But it gives meaning to the living.
And perhaps, when it’s our turn to depart,
we would’ve passed that spark on.
Dealing with farewells in adulthood often brings a mix of emotions that can be surprisingly complex. From my experience, saying goodbye to a job or a close friend isn’t just about the physical absence—it’s the shifting sense of identity and the new paths it forces us to consider. When I left a workplace I truly valued, it felt like stepping off a familiar path into unknown territory. Even though my colleagues continued as usual, I realized that my role had shaped my daily life and sense of purpose. This transition challenged me to find new ways to grow and connect. Losing a friend suddenly, especially in a tragic way, creates an emotional void that is hard to fill. Grief has a strange way of reshaping your world. It becomes part of your “new normal” even as life around you keeps moving. One way I've found to cope is by celebrating the qualities that made my friend special—kindness, strength, and courage—and striving to embody those traits myself. The idea of carrying forward the legacy of those we've lost helps in transforming sorrow into meaningful action. Memories may fade over time, but the lessons and values we internalize stay with us, influencing how we treat others and face challenges in our own lives. In both leaving a job and losing a dear friend, I found that kindness, strength, and authenticity are crucial. These experiences taught me to appreciate the impermanence in life and to cherish the connections and values that continue beyond physical presence. Reflecting on departures made me realize that grief and change can deepen our understanding of ourselves and others. While life goes on, embracing and honoring the impact of those who have moved on can be a powerful source of comfort and inspiration. Ultimately, carrying forward their best qualities creates a lasting spark that lights our way forward.
