Pregnancy After Loss
I’m going to be honest… it was hard being excited while pregnant with my babies. Im overjoyed to be a mama of 2– but in January 2020 I experienced a miscarriage and it broke me.
I had the thoughts of “I wasn’t meant to be a mom” and “Why on earth would this happen?” It took me almost a year before I even wanted to start trying again because I had convinced myself I wasn’t deserving to be a mom.
When I did get pregnant with my daughter finally—- everyday was terrifying to me until I hit 3rd trimester. I was always scared I wouldn’t feel a heartbeat & there wouldn’t be movement on the ultrasounds.
I wasn’t prepared for any of this on my journey to wanting to become a mom— quite frankly it was never talked about. My mom always told me growing up “I got pregnant with your brother and you instantly, you’ll have no problems” so that’s just what I always believed… man was that a lie.
I share this because I think miscarriages & fertility issues aren’t talked about enough. I also think older generations don’t understand enough about them because they weren’t labeled back in the day.
If you’re trying to get pregnant, it happens in its own time. If you’ve had a miscarriage, you will heal eventually. Time rules all.
I’m sorry to all the mamas experiencing fertility issues and to those who have lost their angel babies. It’s EXTREMELY hard and I get it. I hope you get the baby you are dreaming and praying for soon 🫶🏼💕 Love you mamas!
#pregancy #miscarriage #rainbowbaby #pregnancyafterloss #lemon8parenting #support
Navigating the path of pregnancy after experiencing a loss, whether it was an early miscarriage, a 4-month fetus miscarriage, or the profound heartbreak of a stillborn baby at 24 weeks, is an incredibly brave and often terrifying journey. My own experience taught me that the joy of a new pregnancy can be overshadowed by a deep-seated fear and anxiety, constantly wondering if this time will be different. It’s a unique emotional landscape where hope and apprehension often coexist. One of the most crucial lessons I learned was the importance of advocating for myself and my peace of mind. Don't hesitate to communicate openly with your doctors about your previous loss and your resulting anxiety. Requesting more frequent check-ups, early ultrasounds, or simply having a sympathetic ear can make a world of difference. Knowing that my medical team understood my fears, especially during those early weeks, helped me feel more secure. Building a strong support system is another cornerstone. While loved ones mean well, not everyone understands the nuanced grief and anxiety that comes with a "rainbow baby" pregnancy. Seeking out online communities, support groups for pregnancy after loss, or even therapy with a specialist in perinatal bereavement can provide an invaluable space to share your feelings without judgment. These spaces allowed me to connect with others who truly 'get it,' helping me feel less isolated in my journey. Practically, I found comfort in small, daily rituals. Gentle movement like walks, journaling my thoughts and fears, and even simple meditation practices helped ground me when anxiety flared. It’s important to allow yourself to feel all emotions – the joy, the fear, the exhaustion. There’s no right or wrong way to experience this. Celebrating milestones, even small ones, became a way to reclaim some of the joy. Reaching the end of the first trimester, feeling the first kicks, or even seeing a nursery being prepared (like the one for 'OLIVER' I imagined) can be incredibly powerful. It’s okay to celebrate these moments, even if a part of you is still cautious. This journey isn't about forgetting your angel baby; it's about holding space for both grief and new beginnings. Remember, your strength is immense, and you are deserving of all the happiness a new little one brings.
I’m so sorry for your loss 🥺 but so happy you have two kiddos now! I experienced a very hard third trimester with lots of issues and I had the same thought, no one talks about the issues or risks that can happen! I hope you continue to heal 🫶