mom hot take: husbands come first 🫶🏽
everyone automatically assumes that when a mom/ wife says a husband comes first, that she doesn’t care about her children, neglects them, and doesn’t love them more than her spouse. it doesn’t mean my husband gets feed before my girls. it doesn’t mean that i don’t pay attention to them when he’s around.
1. I nurture my marriage
we are the core of our home (aside from Jesus being our foundation) meaning our girls will see as as an example. we create security and peace. if there’s no peace between him and i, there’s no peace in our home.
•i’m a SAHM and im with my children daily. i’ve seen our anger carry on to them. that’s why we NEVER argue around them. we wait until they’re asleep and carry on with our discussion.
2. i respect and honor my husband
you might say “you can do this regardless of him coming before your children” and you’re correct! and it’s something that we should practice! but this means that i give weight to his role and needs. not JUST MY children.
•if i focus on just my child’s needs, my husband can feel left out. even though they’re understanding humans, that doesn’t mean they don’t have wants and needs. even if it’s a simple back massage.
3. i make time for connection and intimacy
there’s a beautiful bond between a husband and a wife. sometimes when you become parents, you often forget about the bond and focus on your bond with your children. make time to prioritize your husband and build your bond. yes he can always look and go elsewhere.
•after putting the kids down for a nap or bedtime, try to spend quality time with your husband. play board games, talk about each others day, make plans to go on a trip, or do something that one or the other loves to do.
**my husband and my children get time with my individually. i don’t love any of them more or less than one another. and because i focus on my husband’s needs, doesn’t make me a bad mom. if the bond between a husband and a wife is not there, everything else comes crashing down. and i would know first hand, coming from a broken home myself.
#momhottakes #lemon8challenge #stayathomewife #stayathomemom #wifeadvice
Many people misunderstand the phrase "husbands come first" as a sign that moms care less about their children or neglect them. The truth is quite the opposite. When a mom prioritizes her marriage, it sets a foundation of stability and love that benefits the entire family. This concept is deeply rooted in creating a peaceful and secure home environment where children can thrive. Nurturing your marriage means becoming the core of the home alongside your spouse, where both partners work together to maintain harmony. This peace between husband and wife acts as a model for children, teaching them about healthy relationships and emotional security. By avoiding conflicts in front of the children—saving discussions for after the kids are asleep—parents protect their children from unnecessary emotional distress. Respecting and honoring your husband acknowledges his needs and role within the family structure, which is essential for balanced family dynamics. While children’s needs are crucial, it is important to recognize that spouses also require attention and care. Simple gestures of affection or connection, such as a back massage or a loving conversation, contribute greatly to sustaining a strong bond. Connection and intimacy between spouses often take a backseat after having children, but making time to nurture this relationship is vital. Quality time together—whether playing games, sharing daily experiences, planning trips, or pursuing shared hobbies—reinforces the unique relationship between husband and wife. It reminds both partners that their bond is valued, which in turn fosters a supportive parenting environment. Focusing on your husband’s needs doesn’t diminish your love for your children. Rather, it helps to create a balanced approach where everyone in the family feels valued and cared for. Personal experiences, including coming from a broken home, show firsthand how fragile family structures can be without a strong marital foundation. Ultimately, prioritizing your husband doesn’t imply neglecting your kids; it means building a home where love, respect, and peace support every family member’s wellbeing. This approach helps moms uphold their role fully, by being attentive both as wives and mothers.
yes! this! we just now learned this! for 2 years we put our daughter first and it hurt our relationship. we are just now getting back to quality time with each other. we go on dates every Friday or Saturday and we always make time for each other after our daughter goes to bed.