breakup with my not boyfriend as a college student
This is not at all advice, but I just wanted to share what I’m going through and validate anyone who is going through the same thing I am. This guy wasn’t my boyfriend, but we were dating for two years and so in a sense, he kinda was my boyfriend without the label (this was an open relationship) and we broke up on Sunday.
I immediately know someone is going to read this and think girl why are you upset over a man who wasn’t actually your boyfriend. Fair but also, when you’ve known someone for that long, obviously, you get attached. He was one of my favorite people and the person I would go to for everything. I could talk to him about anything and he knows things about me that even my friends and family don’t. If you weren’t in the relationship, you don’t get to pass judgement.
For context, we were on a break for 6 weeks starting in July and then started talking again for 3 weeks before I realized he removed me from social media. At this point, I had to call him out and figure out what happened. Turns out, we were on a break because he met someone else that he likes more. I’m not someone who likes to play games—if something is wrong, just tell me. Am I upset that there’s another girl? Yes, but it was bound to happen eventually and I’m more upset that he kept it from me and I had to force him to admit it. I think the worst part about this is he even said it was nothing I did and so that means I can’t fix it. I mean, after all of the thinking I’ve done this week, I don’t want to fix it but it’s hard throwing away two years of my life.
Like I mentioned before, this was an open relationship and a few days before, a guy I went out with and that I had plans to see again randomly ghosted me. So basically I got “broken up” with twice in one week. This isn’t really something I want to get into but I’m just saying it’s been a rough few days. I definitely have some more reflection I need to do, but I’m proud of myself for not resorting to my usual self-destructive coping mechanisms. Not to sound like an alcoholic but that’s usually how I cope and I haven’t picked up a drink since a housewarming party the day before me and the guy of two years broke up. Instead, my friends have been letting me lean on them and making sure I leave my apartment everyday. Healing is not linear and it does not look the same for everyone. Do whatever you need to do to process and hopefully, it’s a healthy way.
#lemon8partner #lemon8college #relationship #breakingup #fyp
Going through a breakup, especially in a situation that isn’t strictly defined by traditional labels like 'boyfriend' or 'girlfriend,' can be uniquely challenging. When you share your life with someone for two years, the bond and deep connection you form are real and meaningful—even if it’s an open relationship or an undefined status. Many college students experience similar struggles balancing emotional attachment with the complexity of modern dating arrangements. One important aspect to acknowledge is the range of emotions that come with such breakups: confusion, sadness, anger, and even relief. It’s natural to feel upset when someone you confided in and counted on suddenly becomes distant or moves on with someone else without clear communication. Being removed from social media adds an element of loss and isolation in today’s digital age, where so much of our social life happens online. A key takeaway from experiences like this is the importance of honest communication. When someone is not transparent about their feelings or actions, it leaves the other person in a difficult place emotionally, as seen in this story. Understanding that sometimes breakups happen without a clear fault or reason can help with the healing process. Accepting that the ending is not about something you did wrong can empower you to move forward confidently. Coping with heartbreak also looks different for everyone. It’s encouraging to see healthy coping strategies, such as leaning on friends, getting out of the house, and avoiding harmful behaviors like excessive drinking. Acknowledging that healing is not linear reminds us to be patient and gentle with ourselves. This mindset helps prevent feelings of guilt or frustration when progress feels slow. For college students, balancing academics, social life, and emotional wellbeing during a breakup can be tough. Seeking support from peers who understand your situation or from campus counseling resources can be invaluable. Remember, it’s okay to set boundaries and take time for self-reflection and growth during this period. Ultimately, sharing stories like these creates a safe space for others going through similar experiences. It validates their feelings and opens conversations about the complexities of dating without labels, open relationships, and emotional resilience in college life. If you’re in a similar situation, know that you’re not alone, and reaching out for support can make a big difference in your healing journey.
