If I had made a different choice at that time.
"If I had made a different choice then..." This thought is actually a trap set by the brain to torment you.
Job change, marriage, moving.
At a turning point in life, you might think, "If I had chosen that way."
I wake up in the middle of the night and end up endlessly simulating the world of what if.
I understand that feeling.
However, if you continue to be caught up in regret as it is, even this moment will become "the past that you will regret someday."
You get stuck in that infinite loop where your future self laments, "If only I had moved at that time." "If only I had made a different choice at that time..." This thought is actually a trap set by the brain to torment you.
Job change, marriage, moving.
At a turning point in life, you might think, "If I had chosen that way."
I wake up in the middle of the night and end up endlessly simulating the world of what if.
I understand that feeling.
However, if you continue to be caught up in regret as it is, even this moment will become "the past that you will regret someday."
I'm addicted to that infinite loop where my future self laments, "If only I had moved at that time."
Actually, this regret is called "hindsight bias" in psychology, and it is a habit of the brain to beautify the path you did not choose.
In other words, illusion.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
There are two EQ solutions.
First, admit that you were doing your best at that time.
And reframing "I am now because I have this experience."
What you can regret is proof that you want to live better.
Why not direct that energy into the future, not the past?
What kind of "tarareba" have you been having lately?
Actually, this regret is called "hindsight bias" in psychology, and it is a habit of the brain to beautify the path you did not choose.
In other words, illusion.
There are two EQ solutions.
First, admit that you were doing your best at that time.
And reframing "I am now because I have this experience."
What you can regret is proof that you want to live better.
Why not direct that energy into the future, not the past?
What kind of "tarareba" have you been having lately?
Details are written in the note
https://note.com/maru_naga/n/ne653f684b331
私もかつて「あの時、もっと別の道を選んでいたら」と繰り返し考え、夜も眠れなくなることがありました。特に転職や引っ越しなど人生の大きな決断をした後は、その選択の正しさを何度も心の中で問い直していました。そんな時に知ったのが、心理学で言う「後知恵バイアス」という現象です。 これは、選ばなかった可能性を実際以上に良く見せたり、結果を知った上で「最初からそうなると分かっていた」と錯覚する脳のクセを指します。この認識が私の「もしも」思考のループに拍車をかけていたのだと気づきました。 感情知能（EQ）を活用した解決法がとても効果的でした。まず「あの時の自分は精一杯だった」と、自分自身を責めずに優しく認めること。次に「この経験があるからこそ今の自分がある」という視点で過去をリフレーミング（言い換え）することです。この方法で、後悔が未来に向けた学びのエネルギーへと変わっていきました。 さらに 、日常生活で私が実践している具体的なステップとしては、過去の「たられば」を書き出し、それを「だからこそ」につなげるワークがあります。例えば「もっと勉強していたら」という考えを、「だからこそ今の私は新しいスキルを積極的に学んでいる」と言い換えるのです。 あなたも後悔や選択の不安にとらわれそうな時、このEQ的思考法を試してみてください。過去の出来事は変えられなくても、その意味づけを変えることで、今この瞬間から新しい未来を創り出す力に変えられます。私の体験からも、心の安定と前向きな行動がぐっと楽になりました。
