Autism Mom
When people ask about me I tell them Im a special needs mom, an autism mom. Iv come to hate the term "autism mom" because it can mean so many things. you have the autism moms who's kids come running around a corner, talking full sentences and just have a little quirk. The moms who can send there kids to day care and to grandma's house for some alone time, who can take there kiddos out in public without a second thought. In no way am I downplaying what those children go through, I have just never lived it. When I say im an autism mom, what I really saying is....
My son is 12 years old and still doesn't speak! He is violent if you dont know what a certain grunt or scream means but im an autism mom so we have a secret language. I know what every grunt and scream means I know what certain facial expressions means to him. This was a MUST because not only does he get violent, hes 5"9" 210 pounds.
It also means my son will live with me for his whole life! good days, bad days and those in-between he will be with me! I wouldnt have it any other way! When I say im an autism mom, Im saying im lonely, im saying its hard to keep going everyday but knowing I have to for him! iv had 2 kid free nights in 12 years and the last one was 6 years ago before his little brother was born, but I dont complain because this is my responsibility and mine alone! Nobody stuck around when things started to get bad, even my own mother gave up on him. BUT I NEVER WILL! so when I say im an autism mom just know it means I go to bed ever night at 35 years old worrying who is going to be here for him when im gone. sadly the only answer is his little brother, if he so chooses. Id understand if he didnt want to take this over, iv lost every piece of me trying to give him a life worth living and I do not want that for my baby. at the end of the day I love both of my boys more than I can put into words!!! thanks for letting me vent.
Being an autism mom means navigating a complex world filled with unique challenges that are rarely understood outside the community. For many mothers like the author, their children’s needs go far beyond typical caregiving. When your child is nonverbal and communicates through grunts, screams, and facial expressions, you develop what the author describes as a "secret language." This special form of communication requires patience, observation, and deep emotional intuition. Physical strength also becomes an important factor—managing a child who can be physically violent and is already a large young adult presents safety concerns for both the child and the parent. Many autism moms find themselves balancing the role of caregiver, advocate, teacher, and protector, often without the support they need. The loneliness the author describes is shared by countless special needs parents who face social isolation as friends and family may withdraw when the challenges become overwhelming. Lifelong commitment is another significant aspect highlighted in the story. The realization that caregiving responsibilities may last a lifetime can be daunting, especially when the parent worries about who will care for their child when they are no longer able to do so. This fear drives many parents to plan extensively for the future—setting up trusts, seeking guardianship arrangements, and engaging siblings or extended family members, though the decision is deeply personal and not always straightforward. Despite the hardships, there is tremendous love and a fierce dedication to providing a life worth living for their child. The author's reflections remind us that autism is a spectrum and every family’s experience is different. It's essential to convey empathy, understanding, and support to autism mothers who often juggle feelings of exhaustion, grief, hope, and joy simultaneously. Additionally, connecting with support groups, therapy options, and community resources can make a vital difference. Sharing stories like this raises awareness about the realities of autism parenting and encourages society to create more inclusive environments that respect and accommodate the needs of individuals with autism and their families.
