... Read moreOkay, so we've all got them, right? Those little things that might seem superficial on the surface, but somehow they just matter in dating. When I think about 'what's a shallow' dating requirement, it’s usually something that doesn't necessarily speak to a person's character or long-term compatibility, but it still makes my heart flutter or, conversely, makes me want to run for the hills. For me, one of my most shallow dating requirements used to be about height. I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous, and it absolutely is! But in my early 20s, I honestly believed I could only date someone taller than me. It wasn't about feeling protected or anything deep; it was purely aesthetic, and probably influenced by too many rom-coms.
As I've gotten older, my perspective on what's truly 'shallow' has evolved. Now, I see 'what's a shallow conversation' as a bigger red flag than someone's shoe size. If we can't move past surface-level topics after a few dates, that's a genuine concern for me. Like, if every chat revolves around work, the weather, or what we ate, and there’s no curiosity about passions, dreams, or even silly quirks, then that feels truly shallow. It gets me thinking, are we even trying to connect on a deeper level?
But back to the 'what's your most shallow dating requirement' part. I’ve realized that sometimes, these 'shallow' requirements aren't always purely superficial. For instance, my current 'shallow' one is about a sense of humor. Not just any humor, but a specific kind – dry wit, a bit sarcastic, maybe even a little dark. On the surface, that might seem shallow, like "Oh, they just need to be funny." But for me, it's actually an indicator of intelligence and how well our minds click. It dictates whether we can have truly engaging, non-shallow conversations. If someone doesn't get my jokes, or their humor is completely different, it often means our communication styles and even worldviews might clash. So, what starts as a seemingly shallow preference can actually hint at deeper compatibility – or incompatibility.
Another 'shallow' one I've heard friends talk about is things like fashion sense or even their taste in music. You might think, 'Who cares what they wear?' But for some, it's an expression of personality, a sign of shared interests, or even an indicator of how they approach self-care and presentation. If someone’s style is completely opposite to yours and it genuinely bothers you, maybe it's not just about the clothes; it's about differing values or lifestyles.
It’s easy to judge these requirements, but I think it's important to be honest with ourselves about what we find attractive or what sparks joy. The key is recognizing when these preferences become rigid dealbreakers that prevent us from seeing a person’s true worth, or when they’re simply a fun, initial filter. It's about finding that balance. So, while I might still secretly hope for someone who can appreciate a good dark comedy, I'm also open to someone who can challenge my own 'shallow' assumptions and still give me those butterflies. What about you? Have your 'shallow' requirements changed over time?
Decent teeth, sorry 😭