Helping to Heal 💕
As someone who personally is diagnosed with Cptsd and Ptsd I found this and wanted to share in hopes it helps others. Self growth can be hard but it’s mandatory to break the chains. One thing I’ve had to remember though is to always be kind to myself as this is a hard road and small steps are still steps to success in our recovery ❤️
Healing this wound often begins with unlearning the belief that you have to prove your worth to be chosen.
That healing can look like:
Noticing when you are overgiving just to feel safe
Letting yourself have needs without shame
Paying attention to relationships where love feels inconsistent
Learning that someone being disappointed in you does not mean you are unlovable
Choosing people who feel safe, steady, and emotionally available
Practicing self-compassion when your old survival patterns get triggered
This kind of wound does not heal overnight.
But it does heal when you stop calling survival “personality” and start recognizing it as pain that deserves compassion.
You do not have to earn the right to be loved.
You do not have to become smaller, quieter, or more useful to deserve care.
And you do not have to keep abandoning yourself just to keep someone close.
If this resonates, the book “I Didn’t Choose to Be Born” will help you understand the childhood trauma, survival patterns, and coping mechanisms behind this pain.
And the book “Chasing Love That Hurts” will help you understand why these wounds can show up in love, limerence, and emotional fixation.
Living with CPTSD and PTSD often means navigating a complex path of emotional triggers and deeply ingrained survival strategies. One of the most challenging realizations for many is understanding how childhood experiences shape current patterns of overgiving, people-pleasing, and feeling only valued when useful. This comes from the nervous system being conditioned to believe that safety and love are conditional rather than unconditional. From my personal experience, a key step in healing is learning to identify and name these survival behaviors—not as character flaws but as adaptations to past pain. This allows us to shift from self-criticism toward self-compassion, embracing that our nervous system has been trying to protect us in the only ways it knew. It’s empowering to remind oneself daily: I deserve love as I am, without needing to earn it through usefulness or perfection. Recognizing the tendency to stay in relationships that feel inconsistent or unsafe can be difficult. It requires courage to seek out and nurture connections where emotional availability, steadiness, and safety prevail. Healing also involves letting go of shame around having needs and allowing those needs to be expressed openly. Books like “I Didn’t Choose to Be Born” and “Chasing Love That Hurts” offer valuable insights into these survival patterns and the complicated ways early trauma manifests in adult relationships. Beyond reading, integrating this knowledge into daily practice—such as setting healthy boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and seeking supportive therapy—creates space for genuine recovery. It's important to celebrate small victories and acknowledge progress. Healing is not linear; some days are harder than others, but even small steps forward contribute significantly to breaking free from self-abandonment and living a fuller, more self-compassionate life. Remember, you are not "too sensitive"; your sensitivity is often an expression of wound-based love. Healing is a journey of reclaiming yourself and your inherent worth.
I would love to read these books! as an adult with severe cptsd amongst other disorders because of childhood trauma the baggage I carry with me is so hard to get over and heal. but I am doing it finally baby steps some days good most days bad but I would love to read those books let me know how I can get my hands on them :-) please thank you :-)