Is It Just Me, or Is My Boyfriend Way Too Close
honestly don’t even know how to feel right now. Last night at dinner, my bf agreed with another girl (his best friend’s gf) when she told me I should lose weight. Then they laughed about how I couldn’t do a mukbang because I’d “end up fat like a streamer.” I just sat there feeling humiliated.
Earlier that same day he even used her perfume and lied before admitting it. He also compares me to her sometimes, like saying I don’t have her “body or height.” They call each other “brother and sister,” but he listens to her more than me, makes decisions with her, and talks to her differently than he ever does with me.
Every time I try to tell him how I feel, he says I’m overreacting or being controlling. I’m starting to wonder if I’m too sensitive or if these are real red flags I shouldn’t ignore.
What would you do if you were me?
It's completely understandable to feel hurt and confused when your boyfriend seems overly close to another girl, especially when his actions involve making disrespectful comments about your appearance and comparing you unfavorably. Using another girl's perfume and lying about it adds a layer of distrust that shouldn't be ignored. The fact that he laughs along when she criticizes you, and prioritizes her opinions and decisions over yours, can be deeply damaging to your self-esteem and the health of your relationship. These behaviors can be considered real red flags. Emotional boundaries are important in any relationship, and it’s not normal for your partner to consistently side with someone else in ways that belittle you. Being called "overreacting" or "controlling" when expressing your feelings invalidates your experience and can be a tactic to avoid accountability. In situations like this, it's important to prioritize your well-being. Reach out to trusted friends or family members for support and consider whether your boyfriend respects and values you as a partner. Genuine relationships involve mutual respect, honesty, and understanding. If your feelings are dismissed and your boundaries disrespected repeatedly, it may be a sign to reassess the relationship. Remember, no one deserves to feel humiliated or less valued. Taking time to reflect on your feelings, communicating clearly, and setting firm boundaries are crucial steps. If talking to your boyfriend doesn't lead to change, seeking advice from a counselor or relationship expert could provide clarity and guidance on how to move forward.
he's just a boyfriend. Drop him. You are under no obligation to stay in a relationship like that. He's not worth it. Many many other guts out there that will treat you with the respect you deserve. Don't settle.