Here’s What He’s Taught Me During His First Year

Our baby boy just turned one year old.

All the things I treasure deeply, the weight and warmth of his tiny body held against mine, middle of the night snuggles, his first smiles, laughs, steps, and words are seemingly slipping through my fingertips. That is perhaps the cruel crux of the early days of raising a child, when physical fatigue, raw emotions, and responsibilities compete with those fleeting moments that pass all too quickly.

The past 365 days have been a balancing act of maintaining a quiet house for him to sleep amidst the lively chaos of two older boys. It’s been a blur of sleep deprivation, mom brain, contact naps, and baby wearing. It’s been passing him off in the night to my husband, tag teaming it while longing for uninterrupted time with him, and grappling with the physical changes that come with motherhood. I’ve navigated the challenges of running a business on empty, waking in the early morning hours to get things done before the day officially begins, but still always feeling a step behind. It’s been unanswered texts, calls, and emails, unopened mail, unpaid bills, a never ending to-do list, and a crushing weight of responsibility. It’s time marching forward as usual whether you’re prepared for it or not. Amidst these trials, I’m amazed how much my heart can grow for the third time, how much love it can give and receive, and how much I’ve grown as a person.

This year, I’ve been reminded that the most profound lessons often come from the most unlikely teachers. My kids have each come into this world teaching me priceless lessons, each of their very own. I've tapped into reserves of energy, patience, and love I didn't know I had, emerging stronger, more compassionate, and more whole. The incredible journey of his first year began with the most miraculous home birth. 15 hours of unmedicated labor culminated in the moment when time stopped, when my baby boy was born in our bedroom, caught by his daddy, quickly welcomed by the wide-eyed wonder of his big brothers. ✨

This little one has taught me the beauty of simplicity, and the importance of living in the moment. He’s shown me that joy can be found in the smallest, most mundane moments. He’s taught me the importance of setting boundaries and slowly cutting away anything that doesn’t make sense for our little family until we are left only with what does. It’s prioritizing what truly matters and letting other things fall away, even if that means walking the narrow road.

He’s taught me the importance of stillness and being quiet long enough to ask myself the important questions. He’s allowed me quiet moments, rocking him to sleep, to think about what is most important, where I want to go, and the path that is right for me. He’s taught me to let go of the idea of perfection, allowing myself to become a more real, raw honest version of myself.

He’s given me incredible insight into my own strengths, weaknesses, and emotional responses. He’s allowed me to discover my unique gifts and cultivate them. He’s lit a fire in me that burns like an inferno. A fire to heal, grow, and become the best version of myself, for my kids. Their childhood, future, and eternal destination are on the line. That’s no small thing. It’s everything.

He’s taught me to rely on God and prayer more than ever before. I’ve never been more tired, but he’s helped teach me that when I am weak and weary, God is my refuge and strength. He’s the Great Physician and our Creator, guiding us through the help of the Holy Spirit.

As much as he’s grown over his first year earthside, I think I’ve grown even more.

Happy 1st birthday, baby boy. 💙

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