Ranking 3 housewives dissatisfied with their husbands
Theme: "Housewife husband Morahara does not notice"
My husband might be a morahara.
It was only a few years after I got married that I started to feel that way. At first, I thought it was a joke and laughed, but gradually it started to weigh heavily on my chest.
For example, about the seasoning of dinner. "It's a little bland" "After all, the taste of my parents' house is better" - such a word made me reflect on "I have to devise more next time." However, when I think about it carefully, there are few words such as "thank you" or "delicious," and it is often deducted rather than evaluated. The accumulation of small negatives has eroded my confidence.
My husband himself probably does not think that his words and actions are "Morahara." In him, it may be a feeling of "just advising" or "just joking." But I am hurt on the receiving side. I think that "Morahara that I do not notice" is troublesome.
Another problem is that the same thing is repeated when it comes to housework and child-rearing. Even though I work part-time and do housework, my husband says, "I'm working better" and "You're a part-time worker, so it's easier." It's true that my husband has more income, but both housework and childcare are invisible labor. If you don t understand the difficulty and neglect it, it will be painful as if you are denied the existence.
The scary thing about Morahara is that the victim thinks that it may be my fault. I also thought that my husband would approve if I worked harder, and that I was complaining because I couldn t reach it, and my self-esteem gradually declined. When I noticed, I was even less likely to complain to my friends. I was embarrassed. To confess that my husband does not value me.
But one day, I found "Morahara Checklist" on the internet.
・ Being told words that deny personality
No matter what you do, you are not appreciated and only shortcomings are pointed out
・ There is no economic freedom and the right to decide is taken away
Your opinion is always taken lightly.
While reading the check items, my chest was surprised. "This is about me." I finally realized that "It's not my fault, there is a problem with my husband's words and actions."
From there, my attitude changed little by little. Instead of replying to my husband, I tried to convey "I" as the subject, "I don't think so" or "I felt this way." Then, at first, my husband was laughing "again exaggerated," but as I conveyed it calmly without exploding my emotions, my attitude gradually changed.
Of course, it does not improve immediately. Morahara is also a long-standing habit, and it has a deep root because the husband himself is unaware. However, my "notice" was the first step. If you are swallowed by "unnoticed Morahara," your mind and body will be broken. That's why I think it's important not to ignore the discomfort you feel.
If there are people who feel "somehow strange" or "hard" for their husbands in the same way, I want you to stop once. Believe in your feelings. And try to speak out to the outside, such as talking to a trusted friend, writing in a diary, using a professional consultation desk. That alone should make you think "I am not alone."
Marriage is something that supports each other. That's why it's not easy to face "a husband who doesn't notice Morahara." But I'm thinking of continuing "ingenuity to tell" before giving up. While protecting my heart.
The Couple # morahara The Housewife's Trouble Self-affirmation I don't notice.
夫への複雑な思いを感じながらも、簡単に言葉にできないことが多いのが主婦の本音です。私も最初は夫の否定的な言葉を軽く受け流していましたが、心の中で少しずつ傷つき、そして自己否定に繋がっていました。 そんな中で有効だったのが「モラハラチェックリスト」による自己診断です。具体的な項目を見ることで自分の現状を客観的に理解でき、ようやく自分を責める気持ちから解放されました。 また、私が試みたのは自分の気持ちを「私」を主語にして伝えるコミュニケーション方法。感情的にならず淡々と伝えることで、夫も徐々に態度を変え始め、対話の土台ができたと感じています。 主婦が感じる『旦那愚痴』や『早く死んでほしい』という衝動的な思いは、きっと日々の見えないストレスの表れ。そうした感情も否定せず、自分の心の声に耳を傾けることが大切です。 さらに、信頼できる友人や専門窓口に相談することで孤独感が和らぎ、自分ひとりではないことを実感できます。経験から言えるのは、一人で抱え込みすぎないことが心の健康につながるということです。 結婚生活は支え合うべきもの。しかし、気づかれにくいモラハラがあるとそのバランスが崩れます。何よりもまず自分の心を大切にし、無理せず少しずつでも伝え方や環境づくりを工夫していくことをおすすめします。
