Too happy now, a little scared of the future
I received this letter the other day.
From a woman in her early 30s in her first year of newlyweds.
"I'm so happy now, I'm a little scared of the future."
I love my husband and am happy every day.
But when you have a child...
I'm scared because I feel like this time will be broken.
While reading, I nodded many times.
Because that's a very honest feeling.
She has so far,
It seems that there was no experience of being valued very much in love.
I finally met someone who faces me sincerely.
I was told that I was cute,
Walking hand in hand,
Every day we can laugh at a simple conversation.
The time I really wanted sooner,
I'm finally in the middle of getting it back.
So I think.
I want to be with you two a little longer.
It's not that I hate children.
I don t want it in the future.
It's just that "happiness now" is too dear.
And yet,
"If you're going to be a mother, you have to be patient."
"If you're a woman, you should put your children first."
Such an air quietly tightens my chest.
Imagine your husband holding your child,
I wonder what I should do if I'm valued more than myself.
I blame myself for being selfish.
But you know.
It's not because there's not enough love.
Because I finally got love.
I just knew the fear of losing.
If you like each other and get married,
I think there are actually quite a few people who become like this.
Just not aloud.
Before becoming a mother,
Before becoming a wife,
The time I was a "loved woman,"
I want to taste it properly.
It's never a bad thing.
There is no right time to have children.
It's okay to have impatience, anxiety, and shaky feelings.
People who care about their happiness now,
Someone who can surely cherish the happiness beyond that.
So please,
Don't say "Don't think like this."
I feel happy now,
First of all, please hug me as it is.
If you've ever felt the same way,
Please tell me softly ♡.
私は新婚生活を送る中で、幸せが満ちている今の時間を思う存分味わいながらも、将来の変化に対する漠然とした恐れを感じていました。 特に、パートナーとの穏やかな日々が子どもが生まれることで壊れてしまうのではないかという不安に支配されてしまうことがあります。そんな葛藤は、誰かに話しづらいことも多いですよね。 でも、愛されることを知ったからこそ感じるこの怖さは、わがままでも弱さでもありません。むしろ、幸せをきちんと理解している証拠だと思います。 私は、毎日手をつなぎながらソファで穏やかに過ごす夫婦のイラストを見るたびに、この何気ない幸せな時間がいかに貴重かを実感しています。そしてそんな時間を大切にしたいと強く願う気持ちは、多くの新婚の方に 共通しているのではないでしょうか。 子どもを持つタイミングに正解はなく、焦りや不安、揺れる感情があって当然です。だからこそ、今の幸せを抱きしめ、恐れずにその気持ちと向き合ってほしいと思います。 私も同じような気持ちを持つ方と、そっと共感し合いながら進んでいきたいと感じています。
