Struggling with being on the right track with God

Hello, I haven’t posted in a while. It’s been a rocky month for me lately. The only thing that has got me through it is the power, and the love of Jesus. I have fallen off track and I thought I’d share the struggles of the last couple of weeks…. number one my old habits, I told myself if I were to be a true Christian and a true child of God I would have to stop some things such as drinking and smoking and partying which were all things that I did in excess until a couple of months ago, I never had conviction to stop doing these things. Well, some of my old habits I have started to do again and it’s been weighing on my mind a lot lately. The only thing I could do is repent and ask God for forgiveness and that’s all good and well, but it really doesn’t matter if I continue to do such things, I know it’ll take a lot more than “not sinning” to save my soul. You know something that I realized? The fight is going to be hard, for some people It’ll be more than hard. It’ll be the most difficult thing that you’ve ever had to face which comes to number two. I realized that while I pray every day and read my Bible and I try to put God first in everything I do, the things that I was doing we’re not of God, such as certain music I listened to, even certain shows that I watched, even the products that I buy; When you start walking with Christ you realize things, your eyes open to see the wicked agenda of the world and it’s difficult to just stop when you’ve been going down that path for sooo long.. number three is definitely something that I struggle with more than the other things and that is giving myself grace meaning whenever I fall short whenever I revert back to my old ways, I go through this period of self loathing. Certain voices start bicker in my head almost like my conscience arguing with themselves and the Devil will try to tell me that I’m not good enough that I am definitely not going about Christianity the right way I will never be good enough for the Lord. All of those things are false. One thing about God is that he has unfailing love for us. And that I need to hundred percent surrender to him in order for the thought of sin or any bad thought to vanish from my mind completely. After all I need to be transparent with myself and with others if I’m going to advocate other people to walk with Christ I hope that this testimony of mine has been somewhat helpful to people, struggling with the same thing that I am going through and remember love the Lord with all your heart and lean, not on your own understanding I certainly do not understand or Even can handle any of this by myself, and nothing will be able to pull me out of the rut that I am in except the love and the mercy of Jesus not listening to sad songs, not smoking, not going to the club none of that Jesus is the only way💕#jesusismysavior #LoveYourself