My bf thinks he should come to everything I do…

My boyfriend honestly believes that since we’re together, he should be part of every single thing I do like dinners with friends, movie nights, even casual coffee meetups. He says it’s “what couples do,” but I just don’t think that’s true.

I love spending time with him, but I also want to keep my own friendships and have moments that are just mine. I don’t want to feel like I’m asking for permission to see my friends alone or like he’s missing out if he’s not invited.

I’m starting to feel smothered, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

Is it unreasonable to want a relationship and separate social lives? How should I talk to him? Anyone has similar issues?

#bf #relationshipadvice #boyfriend #AskLemon8 #letschat

2025/10/7 Edited to

... Read moreIs it wrong to want some space in a relationship? This is a common question many couples face, especially when one partner feels the need to be involved in every aspect of the other's life. While spending quality time together is important, it's equally vital for both individuals to retain their personal friendships and activities. Feeling smothered in a relationship can lead to frustration and emotional distance. Giving each other room to breathe fosters trust, independence, and a stronger bond over time. Couples who respect boundaries often report more satisfaction and less conflict. When your boyfriend insists on joining every event, it might stem from a desire for connection or fear of missing out. Addressing these feelings openly can help both partners understand each other's perspectives. Frame the conversation around your need for balance rather than blame, emphasizing that enjoying separate social experiences doesn’t diminish your love or commitment. Set clear and respectful boundaries by explaining that maintaining individual friendships and hobbies is healthy and normal. Encourage him to pursue his interests too, which can nurture his growth and reduce reliance on constant togetherness. By creating mutual space, your relationship gains depth rather than feeling confined. Remember, healthy relationships consist of intertwined lives, not merged ones. Holding onto individuality strengthens your partnership and prevents resentment. If you find it challenging to communicate these needs, consider relationship counseling or talking with trusted friends who understand your situation. Ultimately, it is neither unreasonable nor uncommon to want personal space in a relationship. Embracing separate social lives not only benefits your mental well-being but also enriches the time you do share.

18 comments

SadieMae's images
SadieMae

as a married woman of 7 years, I don't spend every moment with my husband. I love him to death but we both know that we're separate people who do separate things...yours sounds a little clingy. time to communicate!

Ashton Brooks's images
Ashton Brooks

If he can't understand you need some space but you still like being around him, then he ain't for you. He needs to have his own fully-involved life that is independent of your's as well.

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