Isn't that date just a "useless dinner party"?
We go out to eat seven or eight times before we start dating.
This seems cautious,
In fact, it may be a dangerous pattern to hit the stone bridge too much and break it.
Just eat delicious food and have superficial conversations...
In the marriage hunting program "clockwork marriage"
As Dr. Uekusa also pointed out,
To repeat only the number of times without knowing the other party,
It's not a marriage hunting, it's just a "useless dinner party."
Marriage is a "cultural mix."
That's why I want to be aware of the 7: 3 rule.
Keep your story to 30%, and the remaining 70% is devoted to "research" that draws out the other person's values!
💡 Questions to Avoid Waste Dating
Not on superficial conditions,
The trick is to draw out the vision of the future.
❌ What do you do on holidays?
➡️ ⭕️ What kind of life rhythm is ideal in the future?
❌ How much is the rent now?
➡️ ⭕️ What is the ideal layout like?
Don't just end with "It was fun,"
It is important to see if you can "rub cultures" with your partner.
From the next date, please try to be conscious of drawing out the values of the other party by all means [7: 3 law]!
However, if you feel that it is a little hurdle to dig deep so far at the first meeting,
It is one way to rely on a system that is connected by "values" from the beginning 🤫
# Matching app capture # Love consultation # Marriage fatigue # Values matching # Marriage lost child
実際に私が婚活をしている中で感じたのは、ただ単に何度も会って話すだけでは、お互いの本質的な理解や価値観の共有は難しいということです。7:3の法則を意識して、会話の大半を相手の価値観や将来のビジョンを探るリサーチに当てることで、会うたびに新しい発見がありました。 例えば、休日の過ごし方を聞く代わりに「将来の理想の生活リズムは？」と質問すると、その人の人生観や大切にしている時 間の使い方が見えてきます。また、家賃について直接聞く代わりに「理想の間取りは？」と聞くことで、相手の生活スタイルや価値観に触れることができました。 この質問術を使うことで、ただの楽しい食事会ではなく、二人の文化の擦り合わせが進み、関係性が濃くなっている実感が持てました。もちろん最初から深掘りが難しい場合は、無理せずに信頼できるマッチングアプリなどの価値観マッチング機能を利用するのも賢い選択です。 婚活に疲れてしまわないためにも、デートの時間は質を重視して有意義なコミュニケーションを取ることが肝心。7:3の法則を活用して、相手の本当の価値観を引き出し、無駄な食事会を避ける充実したデートを実践してみてください。
