A letter for when I travel with friends
This year, i turned 29.
And i have been thinking about all the things i wish someone had told me - not to fix anything, but to simply say: ‘i see you’ or, ‘this is a valid feeling’.
So here are 29 letters to myself. Maybe to you too.
Dear you,
You have always known this, but travelling with friends again after travelling alone made you realise exactly how different travelling with friends, travelling with family and solo travelling is.
When you travel with friends, you constantly wonder what others are feeling. The differences between you and your travel companions are amplified, and you constantly ask yourself if what you are doing is inconveniencing others.
You have always prided yourself on being a relatively easy-going person; you don’t bother too much w things and you are generally up for anything and everything. Travelling with friends doesn’t take that away, but it made you realise that solo travelling and travelling with people - you behave differently depending on who you are with.
During your trip, you constantly ask Chad, what’s different? What are we feeling? What do we travel for?
And that is when you realise, everybody travel for different purposes. You travel to immerse yourself in the culture. In the experience. In the environment that people are living in. You are curious about what their daily lives are like, and hence that is why you constantly want to return to the same countries. Because it is impossible to truly understand what the country is like, unless you explore many places again and again.
But through travelling with friends and asking chad, you realise that there are people who travel to “check things off” their lists. There are things to do, things to see, things to experience - because these are part of a list. And that is what makes people explore different countries only once, and that suffices even if they did not explore the entire place or city.
As much as you don’t understand the list, you are appreciative for the list. Because the list helps you to explore things that you might not have explored, if you were exploring alone. Because you don’t have a list, you constantly miss out on things that people talk about. As much as it doesn’t bother you, you do wonder what others are raving about.
So this trip wasn’t just another trip. It became a mirror. Solo travel helped you see one side of yourself; travelling with friends helped you see another. It taught you that different purposes don’t have to clash. Compromises don’t make a trip less enjoyable — if anything, they make you grow.
So, do it more. Travel with different people. Challenge yourself in different ways. Keep growing.
And keep seeing the world.
Maybe you’ll never keep a list, but you’ll always collect stories. And those stories will remind you that there isn’t only one way to see the world.
And i will always be here to listen to your stories about the world.
Love,
pf
Traveling with friends offers a unique set of challenges and rewards that solo travel often doesn’t reveal. For me, switching from solo trips to traveling with companions illuminated how my behavior and mindset shift in the presence of others. Solo travel tends to be about personal exploration and immersion, while group travel reveals the importance of compromise and understanding different perspectives. I’ve found that when traveling with friends, you become more aware of their feelings and travel goals, which can be quite different from your own. Some travel to deeply experience the culture, revisiting places to fully understand them. Others focus on ticking destinations or sights off a checklist, driven by a desire to explore as much as possible within limited time. Recognizing these differences made me appreciate the benefits of both approaches. Traveling with a list has helped me discover places I might have missed on my own and pushed me out of my comfort zone. Meanwhile, solo travel fosters a deeper connection with my surroundings and a chance to reflect on my personal growth. The key takeaway is that no single way to travel is right or wrong; each offers valuable insights and stories. Incorporating these reflections, I encourage everyone to try both styles and pay attention to how their experiences shape their understanding of the world and themselves. Increased empathy, flexibility, and open-mindedness are just some of the benefits that solo and group travels can bring. Sharing travel stories with friends enriches the memory and makes even the little compromises worthwhile.
