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Is this trauma gonna stick with me?

Midnight hit when I jolted awake to his TV blaring music. I begged him to move it to the living room so I could sleep, he did… but cranked it up even louder. It was obvious he was just trying to piss me off. I started sobbing and pleading for him to turn it down, but he ignored me completely.

He was wasted and when I yelled, he slapped me hard and lunged to grab me. That’s when I slapped him back as hard as I could, harder than I’ve ever hit anything. I’m 20, he’s 29, and he’s hit me before. I’ve had dreams twice a week of standing up to him, but my hand always froze, those dreams left me feeling so powerless. Finally fighting back, that hit landing? It was almost euphoric.

I’ve never been violent in my life, so now I’m drowning in guilt. Proud I finally stood up for myself… but scared I became the villain too. Will this fear of being hurt (or hurting back) ruin future relationships?

#Letschat #Asklemon8 #RelationshipTrauma

2025/11/24 Edited to

2858 comments

leave before it gets worse! you’re not in the wrong at all, just defending yourself

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If he’s hit you before and you stayed, I can’t feel sorry for you. You get what you accept and him doing this before and you didn’t leave right then gives him permission to do it again and again! Get out while you have the opportunity. No amount of love justifies abuse…….thats not love.

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