When did “he’s nice to me” become a flex?

From personal experience, I've found that when you're used to toxic relationships, it's easy to mistake basic kindness as something extraordinary. I used to think that 'he's nice to me' meant he was the right person, but over time, I learned that niceness alone doesn’t build a healthy, lasting relationship. Real green flags go beyond simple gestures. They include emotional availability—being open and vulnerable without shutting you out. Respecting boundaries shows that he values you as a person, not just a partner. Taking accountability means he admits mistakes and works to improve instead of blaming others. Most importantly, showing up when it gets tough proves commitment. I remember the image in the article that humorously pointed out how just 'he exists' got mistaken for a green flag. It made me realize how low we sometimes set our standards after enduring red flags and emotional neglect. Moving forward, I started identifying these real signs and stopped celebrating the crumbs. It took time and self-reflection, but recognizing these true green flags helped me find healthier relationships where mutual respect and effort exist. If you relate to this journey, know you’re not alone. It’s okay to expect more and demand the respect you deserve. Celebrate genuine qualities, not just basic kindness, and trust that you’re worthy of the whole meal, not just the crumbs.