At least I got his baby
I was once the girl who imagined having a wedding and being married. But then I ended up being just happy to have "his baby." Ididn't keep my commitment to myself or the standards I had set for my own life. And then I was surprised that the man I had a child with didn't want to keep his commitment.
More than marriage, more than love, more than anything, what I heard was, *"I want to have a baby with you."* Every time I had sex, I risked becoming his baby mama letting him know, "You can have my body without promising me true commitment."
Think of it this way: you go to the store to buy a diamond necklace. On the way home, you realize it's fake. Are you going to settle and be happy just because you have a necklace, or are you going to go back and get the real thing? Of course you go back because you invested your money, and you deserve what you paid for.
Now apply that to your livelihood and what you want from relationships. Why invest in yourself, know your value, and then allow a man to pay you back with fake jewelry?
#datingadviceforwomen #singlemamalife #abuserecovery #narcabusesurvivor
From my personal experience and conversations with many women, I've come to realize how common and painful this scenario is—being celebrated as a mother but overlooked as a partner with value and worth. Having a child with someone should ideally be a symbol of a shared future, but unfortunately, many women find themselves stuck in a place where the man's interest only extends to the child, not to them as a life partner. This dynamic often leads to a painful double standard: investing emotionally and physically, while the man remains inconsistent or avoids accountability. It’s like buying what you hope is a precious necklace, only to discover it’s a fake—and feeling pressured to accept it because the cost has already been paid. But unlike objects, we are human and deserve genuine respect and commitment. If you find yourself in such a position, it’s vital to reflect on your own values and goals. Are you seeking marriage and a secure family life? Then clarity and assurance from your partner are non-negotiable before making life-altering decisions, like having a child. Sometimes, love can cloud judgment, but holding onto your standards and self-worth can protect you from future heartache. Recognizing red flags, such as a partner focusing solely on having a baby without discussions about commitment, is crucial in safeguarding your emotional health. Surrounding yourself with supportive communities, like single mama groups or abuse recovery circles, can offer strength and guidance. Remember, your body and heart are precious; don’t trade them for emptiness. Ultimately, loving yourself enough to demand more than a temporary title or a fleeting promise can lead to healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life. Prioritize your dreams and standards, seek genuine partnerships, and never settle for less than you deserve.
