How to Stop Loving Him
Poetry by Jar’Riel
Nobody tells you
that love doesn’t leave
just because someone did.
Nobody tells you
that the heart can hold on
long after the hands have let go.
So you wake up each morning
trying to forget him,
and somehow
you remember him more.
In songs.
In quiet moments.
In the spaces between
what you hoped for
and what actually happened.
You ask yourself,
“How do I stop loving him?”
As if love were a light switch.
As if healing had an off button.
But maybe the goal
was never to stop loving him.
Maybe the goal is to stop
loving him more than you love yourself.
To stop sacrificing your peace
for the possibility of what could have been.
To stop rereading chapters
that are no longer being written.
Because sometimes
the person you miss
isn’t who they are.
It’s who you believed
they could become.
And sometimes
the future you grieve
never actually existed.
So little by little,
you stop feeding the ache.
You stop checking.
Stop waiting.
Stop creating excuses
for someone who isn’t choosing you.
And one day,
without even noticing,
his name doesn’t hurt as much.
His memory doesn’t own the room.
The tears don’t come as quickly.
Not because you stopped loving him overnight—
but because you finally started
choosing yourself every day.
And that’s how it happens.
Not all at once.
Not dramatically.
Just slowly.
Quietly.
Gently.
Until one morning
you realize
you no longer need him
to be okay.
And that’s when love
finally loosens its grip.
Not because your heart became cold.
But because it became free. 🕊️❤️
The process of moving on from someone you once loved deeply often feels overwhelming and endless. What resonates in this poem is the truth that love does not simply vanish when a relationship ends—it lingers in memories, songs, and quiet moments. From personal experience, I can say that healing from a breakup is less about forcibly extinguishing feelings and more about gently redirecting your love towards yourself. One powerful step toward healing is recognizing that the pain often stems from longing for who you hoped the person could become, rather than who they truly are. This distinction helped me let go of unrealistic expectations and accept reality. Another important part of the journey is to consciously stop feeding the emotional ache—avoiding constant checking or making excuses for someone who has chosen not to be part of your life. Instead, focus on daily self-care practices that nurture your peace and rebuild your self-worth. From experience, progress is slow and subtle. It’s not about a sudden epiphany but a gradual realization that you no longer need the relationship to feel whole or happy. Little by little, the tight grip of love loosens, not because the heart becomes cold but because it reclaims its freedom through self-love. This healing journey is deeply personal but universally human. By choosing yourself each day and honoring your emotional truth, you create space for new joy and love that starts within. Remember, loving him less doesn’t mean losing love altogether—it means loving yourself more and freeing your heart to move forward.
be careful who you give your love, soul band your peace to