Why do fearful avoidants love so much in the beginning of the relationship

Why do fearful avoidants love so much in the beginning of the relationship and has to be with 24/7 , make you their everything , fall in love but then distance , block and blame you for everything wrong !! Do they ever come back ? This is my experience! How do I detach???

6/10 Edited to

... Read moreFrom my personal experience navigating relationships with fearful avoidant partners, I've noticed a distinct pattern that can be both intoxicating and confusing. These partners often express overwhelming affection at the start—wanting to be connected 24/7 and making you feel like their whole world. This intense closeness stems from their deep desire for connection mixed with fear of vulnerability. However, this idealization phase is typically followed by sudden distancing, where they may block communication and sometimes blame you for perceived faults. This push-pull dynamic is rooted in their internal conflict between craving intimacy and fearing loss of independence or emotional pain. Understanding this behavior helped me gain perspective. Detachment isn't about shutting off feelings but about setting healthy boundaries and recognizing these patterns as part of their attachment style, not a reflection of your worth. Practicing self-care and seeking support, such as counseling or support groups, can aid in processing these emotions. It's also important to remember that fearful avoidants can come back, but often the cycle repeats unless both partners work consciously on communication and trust. Patience and personal awareness are key to managing such relationships while maintaining your emotional health.

Related posts

The image shows a natural landscape with green hills and yellow flowers under a blue sky. Text overlays ask "How to tell an Avoidant, they're Avoidant" and clarifies it's about attachment styles, urging to read the caption.
Against a backdrop of yellow wildflowers, text advises speaking from experience instead of labeling someone "Avoidant." It provides an example phrase: "Sometimes I feel like there's a wall between us..."
A dirt path through green and yellow foliage frames text advising to use shared language, not psychology jargon. It suggests asking, "I've noticed sometimes when we get close, it seems like you need space... Is that something you've noticed about yourself?"
How To Tell An Avoidant, They’re Avoidant
The number one question! Communicating with Avoidants requires “gentle parenting” techniques. While many of these relationships may not make it. There are also many that are able to adopt healthy communication. **I do not encourage remaining in toxic or abusive relationships which is usuall
Megan

Megan

168 likes

Your relationships can only be as deep as the conversations you’re willing to have #innerchildhealing #fearfulavoidantattachment #dismissiveavoidant #EmotionalIntelligence
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

740 likes

How a Fearful Avoidant feels when you go No Contact  “ #avoidantattachment #coachtynell #fearfulavoidantattachment #avoidantex #breakup #avoidants #avoidantex #noconact
Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

5 likes

Fearful vs Dismissive
#relationshipcoach #consciousbreakups #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #eq #emotionalintelligence #innerglow #childhoodtrauma
Megan

Megan

20 likes

A couple walks away from the camera on a beach with the ocean and wooden posts in the background, illustrating the title "ATTACHMENT STYLE 101 ANXIOUS-AVOIDANT STYLE."
A beach scene with waves crashing on the shore under a cloudy sky, featuring text explaining anxious-avoidant attachment stems from inconsistent caregiving and involves longing for closeness mixed with fear of intimacy.
A coastal landscape with green plants, a sandy cove, and the ocean, overlaid with text describing how anxious-avoidant individuals mix longing for connection with emotional withdrawal, hindering stable relationships.
A Guide to Anxious-Avoidant Attachment Style
Attachment style 101: Anxious-avoidant attachment, also known as fearful-avoidant attachment or disorganized attachment, reflects a complex interplay of emotional ambivalence within relationships. Stemming from a history of inconsistent caregiving or traumatic experiences in early life, individuals
Saturn

Saturn

47 likes

Breakup healing tips for anyone going through fearful avoidant/dissorganized attachment/hot and cold breakups on ep 207, last week was avoidant and week before was anxious! #breakup #heartbreak #relatable #fyp #SelfCare
Sabrina Zohar

Sabrina Zohar

2 likes

Typical Fearful and Dismissive Avoidant Dynamic from Huda and Jeremiah Love Island #hudaloveisland #attachmentstyle #toxicrelationship #EmotionalIntelligence
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

30 likes

Fearful Avoidants
#consciousbreakups #relationshipcoach #anxiousattachment #avoidantattachment #attachmenttheory
Megan

Megan

18 likes

You overthink because you think it’s going to protect you. Truth: it’s not 👀 Book a call if you’re ready to heal #anxiousattachment #toxicrelationship #attachmentstyle #fearfulavoidantattachment #overthinkingeverything
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

43 likes

being afraid to be vulnerable is a symptom of fear. This is a safe space to share. Comment “❤️” if this resonated #attachmentstyle #anxiousattachment #dismissiveavoidant #fearfulavoidantattachment
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

11 likes

The title slide for an article on dating avoidants, showing a person's hand resting on another's leg in a car, with the text "HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY DATE AN AVOIDANT SWIPE."
A person in a black puffer jacket and sunglasses stands against a stone wall, with the text "BE PATIENT" and advice on giving avoidants time and space to open up.
A person takes a mirror selfie in a bathroom, with the text "TRY NOT TO TAKE IT PERSONALLY WHEN THEY NEED SPACE" and an explanation about avoidants handling overwhelm.
how to successfully date an avoidant
I think the most important thing to acknowledge when dating anyone is that it can’t be forced. I hate how much content these days about dating is all about playing games and using tricks and tactics. at the end of the day if it’s not gonna work with someone, you can’t force it. that being said, if
evelyn

evelyn

651 likes

A person takes a mirror selfie in a restroom, with text overlay "how to figure out your attachment style so you can start healing it." The image includes the Lemon8 logo and username.
A list titled "signs of anxious attachment" details characteristics like negative self-views, needing comfort, worry about abandonment, difficulty trusting, and seeking reassurance. The image includes the Lemon8 logo and username.
A list titled "signs of avoidant attachment" describes traits such as a fragile positive self-view, negative views of partners, needing independence, discomfort with intimacy, and distancing when distressed. The image includes the Lemon8 logo and username.
heal your attachment style❤️‍🩹
knowing your attachment styles, even if you only have certain characteristics, makes your relationships much more workable. it's important to be responsible for the wounds and behaviours that we bring to our relationships, romantic and platonic. that way, you can start to take the proper steps
evelyn

evelyn

77 likes

Avoidant, Disorganized, And Fearful Attachment Styles Are Often Linked To Childhood, Parenting, Home Environments, etc.  #fyp #avoidant #fearfulavoidantattachment #disorganizedattachment #healing
Zelina Chinwoh, MSW, LCSW

Zelina Chinwoh, MSW, LCSW

1 like

The image displays the title 'Common Ways Fearful Avoidants Self-Sabotage' in black text against a white background with light blue brush strokes.
The image describes 'Pulling Away When Things Feel “Too Good”' as a self-sabotaging behavior of Fearful Avoidants, listing internal thoughts like 'This is too good to be true' and 'Don't get too attached'.
The image details 'Testing Their Partner’s Love' by Fearful Avoidants, listing actions such as pulling away, acting cold, starting arguments, saying hurtful things, and withholding vulnerability.
Ways Fearful Avoidants Sabotage Relationships
6 ways Fearful Avoidants sabotage relationships. 💔 #attachmentstyle #fearfulavoidant #breakup #relationship #relationshipadvice
Coach Brandi

Coach Brandi

24 likes

In LOVE with this book✨🍋
Swipe to the end to find your attachment style! I recommend this book I bought mine on Amazon but I’m sure you can find it other places as well, they have different books for different styles and if you are not sure yours, you can find a quiz online or look up the classifications of each type. I c
Kristin🔆🔍

Kristin🔆🔍

959 likes

The truth about people pleasing #retroactivejealousy #fearfulavoidantattachment #innerchildhealing #peoplepleasing
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

3 likes

Learn how to healthily process and regulate your emotions. Grab my exercise journal for more in depth steps #anxiousattachment #fearfulavoidantattachment #regulateyournervoussystem #emotionalregulation
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

33 likes

also if you know any other fearful avoidant romance books SEND IT TO ME RACHELLLLL GIVE IT TO ME PLEASEEEEE #romancebooks #booktok #theroommaterisk #blackauthors
Ferly 💕

Ferly 💕

12 likes

PSYCHOLOGY TO MAKE AN AVOIDANT MAN OBSESSED 💫✨
Psychology to make an avoidant man obsessed These tips are literally backed by science & they work WONDERS. Lmk any topics you guys want advice on 🩷 #avoidant #avoidantattachmentstyle #datingadvice #datingtips #datingcoach
Courtney Marie

Courtney Marie

188 likes

Do Fearful Avoidant’s miss you after the Breakup?  #avoidantattachment #noconact #fearfulavoidantattachment #breakups #fearfulavoidant #fearfulavoidantattachmentstyle #avoidant
Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

Coach Ty✨ Relationship/Breakup

2 likes

#gettoknowme #nocontact #breakuprecovery #dismissiveavoidant #fearfulavoidant #attachmenttheory #attachmentstyle #relationshipadvice
it startswith1

it startswith1

0 likes

Stop fixating on the stories and making everything MEAN something about you #innerchildhealing #attachmentstyle #fearfulavoidantattachment #relationshipadvice #anxiousattachmentstyle
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

19 likes

You are the only person that thinks in your mind #anxiousattachment #fearfulavoidantattachment #overthinkingeverything
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

6 likes

👀 things I thought were healthy in a relationship … Ready to heal? Book a call #fearfulavoidantattachment #avoidantattachment #innerchildhealing #traumaresponse
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

16 likes

5 Signs of Fearful Avoidance
You’re not too much. You were just never mothered in the way you needed. 💔 These are signs someone is carrying an unhealed mother wound, and how it can show up in love. If this hit your heart… you’re not alone. Healing is possible — and it starts within. 💫 #consciousbreakups #relations
Megan

Megan

24 likes

You have the power to take control of your life. Ready to start? Book a clarity call #attachmentstyle #fearfulavoidantattachment #overthinkingeverything #personaldevelopmentcoach
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

9 likes

Avoiding emotions doesn’t protect you!
@MiriamEsther
MiriamEsther

MiriamEsther

12 likes

did any of them resonate 👀 (Take my free attachment style quiz to learn more) #fearfulavoidantattachment #anxiousattachment #dismissiveavoidant
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

11 likes

Healing the fearful avoidant attachment style Top 3 things to focus on: 1. Regulating your nervous system so you don’t swing from one extreme to another 2. Rewiring the relationship you have with emotions (see them as feedback instead of as bad or weak) 3. Stop overgiving and thinking you
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

6 likes

#anxiousattachment #toxicrelationship #dismissiveavoidant #fearfulavoidantattachment
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

9 likes

The distrust wound doesn’t always show up as suspicion. Sometimes it shows up as testing. Pulling back to see if they chase. Withholding vulnerability to see if they stay. Mentally preparing for the ending while still in the relationship. Feeling safest when expectations are low
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

5 likes

POV: If He Is Constantly Jumping From Relationship To Relationship— He May Have An “Unhealed Mother Wound” #fyp #motherwound #childhoodtrauma #avoidant #fearfulavoidantattachment
Zelina Chinwoh, MSW, LCSW

Zelina Chinwoh, MSW, LCSW

0 likes

Fearful Avoidants Are Complex
Attachment theory is all based upon generalizations from observed prior behavior. When you are dealing with an attachment style, that is a mix of two it is not as easy to predict the way that they will handle certain situations. If you want clarity on a Fearful Avoidant, book an advice session
Megan

Megan

12 likes

Self soothe your EMOTIONS 👏🏻✨💗 #attachmentstyle #innerchildhealing #fearfulavoidantattachment validate your own emotions
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

11 likes

I used to think I was just REALLY good at reading people 👀 which I still think I am 🤣 BUT I realized it’s because I learned to be hyper vigilant In order to FEEL safe I learned to tip toe around and not rock the boat 🛶 Reading in between the lines became my super power and I took pride
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

5 likes

If you feel jealous in your relationship this is for you #attachmentstyle #innerchildhealing #personaldevelopmentcoach #fearfulavoidantattachment
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

1 like

Coercive control … #attachmentstyle #innerchildhealing #personaldevelopmentcoach #fearfulavoidantattachment #communication
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

3 likes

Instead of “what’s the next mindset shift” focus on taking care of yourself first. #innerchildhealing #attachmentstyle #fearfulavoidantattachment #relationshipanxiety
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

4 likes

How to stop managing other people’s emotions. LET THEM FEEL WHAT THEY FEEL #attachmentstyle #innerchildhealing #personaldevelopmentcoach #fearfulavoidantattachment
Janette | Relationship Coach

Janette | Relationship Coach

21 likes

A woman with dark hair and clips, wearing a black top, with text overlaying "dating (aka "talking stage") rules / boundaries I have for myself as someone with bpd and a disorganized attachment style so I don't rush❤️".
A woman with dark hair and clips, wearing a black top, with text overlay about "Little to no texting between in-person dates unless it's to schedule dates" and an explanation of texting behaviors.
A woman with dark hair and clips, wearing a black top, with text overlay about "At least 1 in-person date per week (no more than 2x a week)" and details on scheduling flexibility.
Dating can be fun and enjoyable!
Healthy boundaries > no boundaries #bpd #quietbpd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #bpdawareness #bpdmirroring #bpdsplitting #disorganizedattachment #disorganizedattachmentstyle #fearfulavoidant #dismissiveavoidant #avoidantattachmentstyle #fearfulavoidantattachmentstyle #anxiousatt
Leah S

Leah S

5 likes

See more