A garbage bowl is the key to my heart. ✔️Low cal ✔️No effort ✔️Ridiculously filling ✔️Intestinal Loofah ✔️Tasty as f*ck While you mortals were agonizing over what to eat, I was busy mastering culinary necromancy. behold 🔮 the remains of my enemies... or just some old kale. I can’t re

Today’s assigned reading was The Love Hypothesis, which is less a romance novel and more a scientific study on what happens to otherwise intelligent women when a six-foot-something man rolls up his sleeves exactly once. We’ll spend 5 minutes devouring this toasted pecan chicken salad with the most

The allegations that I enjoy the company of other people remain greatly exaggerated. I do, however, delight in making loads of food and forcing everyone around me to eat it. We'll call it aggressive hospitality. The Unusual Suspects: 🔪crepes 🧨“avo toast” sweet potato 💣breakfast bowls b

The cookie dough multiverse just dropped 🍪 This is why I can't be left alone with chocolate chips 🍫🤭 Some people collect stamps. Movie stubs. The souls of their enemies.. Apparently I collect sweet treats. 🍪 Mini Cookie Cakes 🍳 Skillet Cookie 🍫 Brookie Cake I'll answer questi

My weekends are basically just me wandering into the kitchen every few hours saying, "We can do better than cereal." 🥣 "What I Eat" always sounds like it's going to involve green juice and exceptional self-control. Instead... 🥞 Crepes with Nutella, peaches, raspberrie

Burgers don’t need bread. I said what I said 🥔🍎🍔 *people immediately rushing to the comments to either agree or fight me. 😭🍔🍠⚔️📚✨ If your fat loss plan doesn't allow burgers, get a new plan 👏 This is one of my favorite meals when I want something filling, high-protein, and satisfying with

3 ingredients. one GIANT brownie ball. Dates. Miso caramel. Black cocoa powder. That is it. (Okay okay, but there’s clearly chocolate and other stuff on it?) GIRL I KNOW. We can add little things on at the end, or we can leave them off. It is going to be alright 🧘‍♀️🫁🌬️ Imagine some tricklin

The neighboring kingdom has accused us of witchcraft. Fair. The evidence is admittedly compelling. A sweet potato was roasted. A curry was brewed. Chickpeas were summoned. The kingdom's hottest knight folded immediately. The aroma alone brought half the village to the castle gates 🏰👃🌬️

This is the salad that made me forget lettuce exists: Chopped Avocado Crunch Salad 🥗 and frankly - I deserve some sort of ceremonial crown for my contributions to society 👑 I knew precisely what I wanted: "Make it green, make it tiny, and put it on a warm, roasted throne." This glorious

She’s my type on paper 📝 Day 12 of my sweet potato series with something that has way more chemistry than half the initial pairings this season: Whipped Caramelized Sweet Potato with Smoky Tofu Crumbles and roasted garlicky green beans 😏 Honestly, the tension between the sweet mash and the s

everybody lies. especially people who say they don’t want dessert for breakfast 😏🥞☕️🍓🍠 Day 11 | Sweet Potato Series 🍠 On this day in the kingdom of Sweet Potatoes, the royal kitchens brought forth Pecan Butter Pancake Bowls 🥞📜👑 One adorned with wild berries gathered from the forest🌳 The

Every empire starts with ambition. Some start with chicken fries 🍟🍗 🍗 Chicken Fries 1 lb chicken breast (cut into fry-shaped strips) ½ cup flour ¼ cup cornstarch ½ cup panko breadcrumbs 1 tsp garlic powder, onion powder 1 tsp paprika Salt + pepper 1-2 eggs 3 tbsp milk (or water) Olive

If anyone requires me for the remainder of the evening, I shall be found curled dramatically around this bowl like a dragon guarding her treasure. Day 10 | Sweet Potato Series 🍠 💫 Sweet Potato Brownie Batter 💫 🛒 Pantry Gremlins: 1 sweet potato, baked and mashed 2 tsp sweet nectar of th

The ancient art of Not Catching Whatever Everyone Else Has. Day 9 | Sweet Potato Series 🍠 Brace yourself honeybees, because this bowl is carrying more goodness than a church potluck on a Sunday afternoon 🥕✨ We've got herby meatballs, sweet potatoes roasted to golden perfection, chickpe

well butter my backside and call me a biscuit 🧈 these sweet potatoes have become more involved in my daily affairs than some of my relatives. Day 8 I sweet potato series 🍠 We’re going savory again today. I REALLY wanted some teriyaki chicken… but also some kind of mediterranean bowl. Witho